" Something about the way he said it and his body language just made the whisker on my body suffer up . "
This article discusses excited and sexual abuse .
Being a woman sometimes feels like we always have to be on guard just to feel “safe,” and frankly, it’s really exhausting. The truth is, even though we never know when something can go sideways in the blink of an eye, most of us usually have an incredibly strong gut reaction when something simply just doesn’t feel right.
So when Reddit userHuge_Shower7525askedther/AskWomencommunity: “What’s something a man did that instantly made you feel unsafe, even if it wasn’t aggressive?” the responses will have you shaking your head
1.“Drove me home from a party, and wouldn’t let me out of the car unless I gave him my number.”
2.“Speak to me in an Asian language (usually Japanese, sometimes Chinese), trying to impress me. That tells me right away that he sees me as a stereotype based on my complexion rather than as a person.”
" Whenever that happens , I always reply in facile French , and then act surprised when he does n’t understand ' white language . ' "
— DarkField_SJ
3.“My most recent therapist and I were talking about beliefs, and I told him I was an atheist, and his demeanor immediately changed. He got incredibly tense and visibly rigid, got really curt, and glared at me the same way my dad and brother used to when they really wanted to hurt me — and eventually would. It was the kind of glare that you know is followed up by an attack. And he just sat there for a bit, glaring in silence, jaw clenched, unblinking. And then said, ‘Let’s just schedule your next session.’ Which we did, and I cancelled it two days later because I felt so unsafe.”
4.“A client walks up to me in a space where nobody else is around and says, ‘You look just like my ex-wife.’ I said, ‘Oh, interesting’ (because I had no idea what to say to that). And he instantly replied with direct eye contact, ‘I fucking hate my ex-wife.'”
— NemaCat
5.“Went on a few dates with this guy. The following week, he asked if we could go out to dinner, and I was like, ‘Oh man, I’m sorry, I have plans with girls from work that night, but maybe the next night, we could do something?’ I never said who specifically I was going with, and he didn’t know any of my coworkers outside of, like, seeing them twice when he picked me up from work for two dates. I never said where we were going. I’m mid-conversation with my friends at dinner, and one of them is like, ‘Uhh… did you know your friend was coming?’ I’m like what friend? And I look up and the guy is walking towards our table and sits down like he was invited.”
6.“Asked me to meet up at like 10 p.m. to take a walk in the woods together and proceeded to call me boring when I firmly declined.”
— AlaraBanana
7.“Showed up to my work unannounced with donuts to make my coworkers like him. Multiple times. We weren’t even together. We had matched on Hinge, I believe, and hadn’t even gone on a date yet, hadn’t hooked up, nothing.”
8.“When you don’t give them what they want and that shadow falls over their eyes and face. Ugh…”
— Glittering - Proton
" It ’s so subtle , you only learn the cue from multiple interactions with entitled men . This is one of the many ground why former cleaning lady are n’t as ' valuable ' to them , most have learn the peril signs by their 30s-40s , and are less likely to be manipulated .
It ’s the squaring of the shoulder joint , chin up , looking down their olfactory organ , mouth in a straight furrow , jaw - jutting .
TheNational Alliance on Mental Illnesshelpline is 1-888-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services;GoodTherapy.orgis an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7National Domestic Violence Hotlineat 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.
The standing closer and square away so they ’re taller and cock-a-hoop than you .
address over the top of you , interrupting , fire what you ’re read because of the inference that you ’re a silly woman . ( Get this a LOT in the work . )
I ’ve render to explicate these subtleties to several male friend and partners , and they handle you like you ’re overreact because it ’s not one major thing , it ’s a thousand picayune thing . "
— somethingquirky01
9.“I’m a cleaner. I was cleaning his house. He came up to me and looked me fully up and down and said, ‘You REALLY have a lot of tattoos, don’t you?’ And something about the way he said it and his body language just made the hair on my body stand up. Fucking yuck, bro.”
10.“Insisted I got off the elevator first in a parking garage.”
— belindabellagiselle
11.“Had a dude really snidely ask why I was taking my purse with me to the restroom. So, matching his energy, I wholeheartedly announced that I needed to change my tampon and didn’t feel like I needed his permission to be discreet about it. The look he gave me you would have thought I shit on the table. Then, he got really red and quietly told me to stop making a scene, and we’d talk about it after dinner.”
12.“I had an ex-boyfriend who liked to pick me up randomly in public when we were dating. Not even in the maiden type of way, like just plucked me up tall ways and wouldn’t put me down no matter how many times I’d ask. I hated it and it made me feel like he didn’t respect me, or care about me, saying, ‘No.’ But I was young and naive and continued the relationship. Well, he recorded us fucking (without my knowledge or consent) and then gaslit me when I caught him. He was a piece of shit who never saw me as anything other than something to play with. I shoulda known at the first moment he made me feel uncomfortable.”
— Decent_Friend_1511
13.“Kept insisting and offering to walk me back home late at night (presumably to figure out where exactly I lived on campus at the time) after I had politely declined. Said the words, ‘What, why? It’s not like I’m going to do anything to you.'”
14.“On a group caving tour, the sort where you float in the river in the cave on a ring for a bit, the guide pulled me by the foot away from the group and into the dark to ‘show me something cool’ despite my firm and frantic protestations. After I kicked and shouted for my friend, he let go of me so I could swim back to the group while sulking that I was ‘boring.’
" It ’s not the unsound matter that ’s chance to me , but it was one sentence that my alarms were utterly RINGING in my ears to GET OUT . "
— kittysayswoof91
15.“Working in retail, a weekend job in my early twenties. After work, at eats and drinks, a work colleague, whom I had never shown any interest in, came over and shouted in my face when I was chatting and flirting with a guy in the bar. He behaved as though he owned me and who did I think I was talking to men, that I was a slut(!) because I’d let him buy me a drink earlier, and I was leading him on!! After trying to defend myself and fleeing to the toilets, these girls I had never met consoled me after listening that this idiot was not my boyfriend, and I didn’t know why he had behaved like that. Those feisty young women, Roman shield-style, marched me past him after calling me a cab, staying with me outside until the cab came.”
16.“Stood between me and the door.”
— googlyeyes183
" I had a untried manful coworker who face me about something while standing between me and the doorway . We were friends at the time , so after we sorted things out , I told him that , by the way , you should n’t do that . Then I find he commence intentionally putting himself between me and the door . It became scary quickly . "
— Apprehensive - Eye4962
17.And finally, “I was a cashier at a fast-food place when I was 18, and I took this guy’s order. He asked me what time I got off. I said, ‘Oh, um, later tonight.’ It was like 4 p.m. — instant red flags. He proceeded to sit in the lobby, within eye view, and waited for hours. It turned dark, and he was still there, still glancing every so often. It was getting closer to my clock-out time, and I was petrified. He hadn’t done anything, but I was scared to walk out to my car. I hid in the office, and the old grill cook finally went to the lobby and told him off, that I’d left through the back door. Apparently, he came back the next day looking for me. I had the day off, and the grill cook told him I’d quit because he scared me. He never came back after that.”
TheNational Alliance on Mental Illnesshelpline is 1 - 888 - 950 - 6264 ( NAMI ) and supply information and referral services;GoodTherapy.orgis an association of genial health professionals from more than 25 countries who keep going efforts to lose weight harm in therapy .
If you or someone you know is in straightaway peril as a result of domesticated violence , call 911 . For anonymous , confidential helper , you may call the 24/7National Domestic Violence Hotlineat 1 - 800 - 799 - 7233 ( SAFE ) or chit-chat with an pleader via the website .
