" It took me eight eld to realize I was living someone else ’s dream and not my own . "
Saying “I do” is a life-changing moment for any couple. But what happens when theweddingand honeymoon are all said and done? Reddit userOk_Percentage6051recently asked,“Married [women], what is your greatest regret about marriage?“Here’s are the most impactful responses for past, present, and future brides:
1.“Who you choose to marry will have the biggest impact on your quality of life. More so than your career choice or where you go to college. I was too passive and too accommodating. I didn’t put my own needs on the table. I don’t do that anymore, and I hope I am modeling that for my daughters. Choose wisely!”
2.“Ignoring red flags because ‘I’ve dealt with worse.’ They build up, and you start to resent dealing with it. You resent them for things you knew about but thought they would change as they got older. It doesn’t work that way for everyone. Anyway, I’m in the midst of a divorce right now, eager to close this chapter and move on.”
— u / KonnichiJawa
3.“Not getting married sooner. If I had, my dad would have been alive to walk me down the aisle. He died unexpectedly months before my wedding.”
4.“Giving up all the life I had built to fit into his. I hope younger women are smarter.”
— u / Ok - Half7574
5.“Getting married at 22 just because that’s what you’re supposed to do. It took me eight years to realize I was living someone else’s dream and not my own.”
6.“The whole thing. I wouldn’t do it again. The chances of you and your partner evolving in the same ways over time are slim. Just because you’re perfect together at one stage of your life doesn’t mean you’ll be perfect together at another stage. People grow, people change, and that growth and those changes don’t always align.”
— u / Nauti - Grl
7.“We’ve been together for 23 years. We have two kids and met when we were teens. We got married just before we had our first 17 years ago. We are currently in marriage therapy, and my only regret is not going sooner. It’s made me see my husband in a completely different way. We are both working hard at our marriage, and I wish we hadn’t left it until we were screaming at each other all the time to go.”
8.“Not talking about the hard stuff and eventually just losing yourself along the way.”
— u / MadLove1348
9.“Love your life independently before settling down. I moved from my parents' home to be with him at his home. I never experienced that independence. I lived in a dorm apartment, but that’s not the same. I wish I had done solo traveling and figured out who I am.”
10.“Not appreciating that love isn’t enough.”
— u / smooth_relation_744
11.“Inviting people to my wedding when I knew they wouldn’t be in my life for long. My husband is my ride or die, and I’m so happy we’re married, but I’d do it over just to have another wedding with him. We truly had our wedding more for our guests than ourselves, which is sad because it’s expensive as hell.”
12.“Getting married to the wrong person.”
— uracil / Regular_Ingenuity_97
13.“Not seeing a couple’s therapist before getting married. We eventually did it, and it was a major improvement in all aspects of communication.”
14.“Getting married at 22 because I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do after college. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband, but we both missed out on finding ourselves first.”
— atomic number 92 / Sexy11Lady
15.“I got married six years ago. My only regret so far is having a wedding instead of an elopement.”
16.“I don’t regret being with my husband at all, and I wouldn’t change it, but I wish we had taken more time in the dating phase before giving that up. I’d still marry him and I’m happy, but I think there were some expectations set that could have been different if we’d gone slower.”
— u / confusedrabbit247
17.“Time changes everything. After being married for almost 35 years, I still love my husband, but marriage is a mixed bag of compromise and acceptance.”
18.“Married almost 27 years, and the only regret is that I changed my last name.”
— u / ReadAnEffingBook
19.“I would change how I viewed marriage. For me, there was a lot of pressure to get married. And once you get married, it’s forever. It’s not an option to leave; you commit and have that one person who is your best friend forever. We were best friends, and I’m a perfectionist. We worked out every issue we disagreed on and talked about how we felt. We both felt strongly that no matter how bad it gets, we’re partners for life. I wish we had gone in the opposite direction. If one of us is miserable, we can let this go. If our marriage gets bad, divorce isn’t the end of the world. Sometimes things just don’t work out. I wish I had gone in feeling like, ‘marriage isn’t this top goal for your entire life.'”
20.“You can’t pick your family, but you CAN pick your in-laws. If they aren’t supportive or actively undermine your relationship, it’s a big struggle.”
— u / specialKsquared
21.“My only regret is not marrying my husband sooner. I feel like my life truly began when I married him. But I believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe I met him at the right time, and that’s what makes it so wonderful.”
notice : Some responses have been edit for length and/or clarity .
