" I secernate my healer that I did n’t translate why I was so traumatized when I was n’t abused or anything as a tiddler . She propose that ' perchance you were n’t abused , but you were absolutely miss , which can be just as sorry . ' I had never even look at the idea that my injury came from neglect . "
Sometimes, someone shares a bit of wisdom that fundamentally changes the way we see and experience the world. And those brain-exploding bits of wisdom can come from a variety of sources, including friends, family, strangers, and, as this post will spotlight, therapists.
Because when Reddit userdark - dayr00mposted"What is the most impactful thing a therapist has say you ? " on ther / AskWomensubreddit , many women chime in with some truly amazing and poignant insights .
So here are 19 of the most impactful things a therapist has said to women in the midst of their session:
1."‘Do not accept criticism from someone you would not seek out for advice.'"
2.“When I was trying to figure out if my ex was a narcissist, my therapist said, ‘He doesn’t need to be a narcissist to be an a**hole.'”
" I had been trying to win over myself that it would be okaynotto get back together if he was a narcissist . But I had n’t realized he did n’t have to be a real narcissist for me to not want to oppose any longer for a relationship I never had . "
— uranium / SomeThoughtsToShare
3.“My therapist said, ‘When someone dies, you need to grieve them twice. The actual person and then also the relationship between the two of you that you just lost.’ It helped me understand why I used to cry every time I thought about my grandparents who died in 2010 and 2011. I never grieved the relationships that I lost.”
4."‘Don’t believe everything you’re thinking. Not everything your brain says is correct or useful.'"
— u / RedditGets
5.“I come from a high-achieving family that doesn’t believe in mental illness or using medications to help with mental health. My therapist said to me, ‘You don’t win any awards for being unmedicated.’ It was really difficult for me to finally accept help, but I’m so glad I did. Why did I rough it out all these years when I didn’t have to?”
6.“In the midst of my worst relapse into my eating disorder, my psychiatrist told me, ‘Youhavea problem, youaren’ta problem.’ It was incredibly touching.”
— u / ccbabs97
7.“My therapist said, ‘No woman believes her husband is capable of killing them, but it happens every day, so protect yourself and don’t underestimate the danger.’ I was going through a nasty divorce, and my ex-husband was beginning to stalk me.”
8.“My therapist told me that I was ‘managing myemotionswith productivity’ and I was like, ‘oh sh*t!'”
— u / fingerbo1
" It ’s easy to cleanse than find something . "
— u / Spiritual_Lemonade
9.“I once told my therapist that I felt behind in life because I had not met the love of my life yet, didn’t have kids, and felt like I hadn’t found my purpose. As I approached 30, I grew even more worried and anxious. She told me that, ‘in the movie that was my life, I was only at the 30th minute, so I still had time.’ It helped change my perspective.”
10.“My therapist once said, ‘If beating yourself up all the time actually worked for you, you would have accomplished all your goals by now. Maybe give another strategy a try.'”
— atomic number 92 / JustMy2CentsB4Taxes
11.“I was complaining about all the things I do for my partner, all the unseen labor such as shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, making his appointments, picking up his prescription, and ordering and paying for his work boots. My therapist suggested I do the 180° test and ask myself, ‘If our roles were reversed, would the other person do it for you?’ She also asked me to consider, ‘What would you tell a friend to do if they were in your situation?'”
12.“My therapist told me that, ‘Relapse is part of recovery. If you slip up, that doesn’t mean you have failed and can’t do it; it means you’ve slipped up and you can get right back to where you were before you slipped up.'”
— u / Indigo - Waterfall
13.“I told my therapist that I didn’t understand why I was so traumatized when I wasn’t abused or anything as a child. She suggested that ‘maybe you weren’t abused, but you were absolutely neglected, which can be just as bad.’ I had never even considered the idea that my trauma came from neglect.”
14.“I was talking badly about myself, and she asked, ‘Would you allow someone to talk like that about a friend of yours?’ I said, ‘No, never, that’s awful,’ and she told me, ‘Then, why is it ok to talk like that about yourself? You need to treat yourself the same way you treat yourbest friend.'”
— u / ohnoporque
15."‘Empathy burnout is real. Look who stays in your life after you have experienced it.'"
16.“I would worry so much about other people and tend to light myself on fire for them. And I would always say I couldn’t leave them because, ‘What would happen if I weren’t there to help out?’ My therapist said, ‘An adult cannot abandon another adult. An adult is capable of running their own lives.'”
— atomic number 92 / kitty_r
17.“My therapist said in regards to my ex, ‘You already have an arsehole, you don’t need another.'”
18."‘You deserve a mom. Unfortunately, this woman does not act like your mom and there’s nothing you can do to change that.'"
— u / NefariousnessMain301
19.And lastly, “‘Forgiveness is for YOU, not for the other person. You forgive to move on, but they never need to know about it.’ This was a lightbulb moment for me, and it changed my life. ♥️”
There you have it: 19 times a therapist said something that had a real, meaningful impact on their client’s life. Did any of these resonate with you? Or is there something a therapist once said to you that still sticks with you to this day?
Note : Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity .
