" Women ca n’t create men ’s liberation for them . They ’re baby-sit at the offset of the path , like we did , and they do n’t have to stick with the path that we built to make things easier , but they sure enough can . "
u/BrainBurnFalloutirecentlytook to Reddit to express how frustrated she gets when men ask things like"Why do only Women get resources?" or “Why is there a ‘Girl’s Day’ and no ‘Boys Day’?,” or ‘Why is there XYZ for women and not me…"
Her thoughts? “BECAUSE IT’S MADE BY FUCKING WOMEN! That’s why! Women came up with it! Women organize it! Women lead it! My GOD! Isn’t that obvious? Women in STEM, health organizations & networks for women, Gaming groups for Women, Dance Groups for moms, that specific course at the library that helps young girls to get into coding, or mechanics…it’s always run by women!”
She continues by sharing, “I’m sorry. I don’t want to sound like an asshole: It’s true that help organizations for men are important. Many men also suffer from abusive partners, mental health issues, feel left behind in school, and just…lost in society. But I also kinda hate, how these questions even exist. Or worse: How every time the discussion arises, it’s derailed to the opposite: Not, ‘look what women do,’ but ‘look how women are at fault.'”
" It ’s also annoying . Not just because of the ignorance towards women ’s invisible labor , but also adult female ’s conditioning as a whole . Just take school . How often did you try ' young boys are left behind academically ? ' Yes . It ’s straight : boy do n’t do as well as girls . Girls get higher grade , are more potential into college , and obtain better reviews . So , how to help them ? At well , you get ideas like " more P.E. " , " more breaks , " and " more helping hand - on approaches " . And yeah , those are all good ideas . But at big ? No ! School is n’t totally misogynistic ! postulate any teacher , and they tell you : It ’s the darned parent ! Girls are expected to be tranquil , neat , and organise . Boys ? If boys are rowdy , it ’s ' boys will be son . " If male child are noisy , it ’s ' boys will be boys . ' girl are instruct to stay together & help each for selection ( " Girl Code " ) . Boys are instruct ' two work force can be friend for 20 yr without knowing each other ’s name .
I ’m an ADHD woman , and too many times , I was expected to ' babysit ' other autistic boys / men . Every time , the expectation came like a favour : ' Oh , but you ’re so competent . ' And it ’s true — I am . But that ’s not because I was simply ' gestate that way . ' In fact , I struggled gravely . I had learning impairment , severe bullying , neglect … it was a fucking flush clique . Y’know how I got good ? A distaff English instructor recommend for me to get diagnosed with autism , because she knew that autism in women gets look out on . A female counsellor aid me get therapy for slump . Men ? ( TW : Medical Malpractice / Self - Harm ) The manlike head of psychiatry tried to take I was a ' hormonal stripling girl ' because ' all teenage girls try self-annihilation at 13 eld old . ' My male person ' Social Trainer ' tried to keep me in a grouping below my competence so I could be the ' practice dummy ' for another girl and two guys . "
“Again, I absolutely support helpers for men. And I’mnottrying to say that men are completely uninvolved in the support of women. There are MANY beautiful fathers, teachers, and friends who push even against other men to help the girls/women in their lives. But also, a lot that derails the conversation. Especially in the way that it ends with women being both at fault and responsible for doing even more,“she concludes in the thread.
“My fav is ‘Why is nothing organized for men’s so and so?’ My answer always is ‘because you have to organize it if you want it to happen. Do you want women to organize it for you?’ They usually don’t have an answer. The implication usually is that yes, they absolutely want and expect women to organize all of that for them.”
“This is why I get so angry when the male loneliness epidemic is brought up. Women aren’t here to solve your loneliness! Fucking be nice to each other! You know why women don’t have the same loneliness issue? Because we support each other. Men need to step up and do the same.”
“My boyfriend literally thought that women’s shelters were a) fully funded by taxpayers and b) specifically excluded men. I had to explain to him that, at least in our area, most do have resources for men as well, but they’re also all privately funded and organized. I donate to them and he doesn’t, not even the ones that have specific targeted services to male victims of domestic violence. So yes, I would LOVE for there to be better systemic resources for crime victims. You don’t want to even know the statistics for aid organizations that have religious requirements. But until that day comes, if you want it to be better, do better.”
“My favorite question is always, ‘What are YOU doing to empower your fellow menfolk?’ I’ve had one person tell me how he’s taking action. One. And, interestingly, he’s a man who’s been active in feminist circles for ages. And sees how damaging patriarchy is for everyone. Imagine that.”
“That has been my question for literal decades now. I continually ask men what they are doing to help men whenever they are complaining about women’s resources. The answer is always a resoundingnothing.Sometimes they point to the fact that it’s ‘difficult’ or ‘stressful,’ as if women weren’t literally murdered for doing things like setting up women’s shelters…”
“I’ve also had a similar conversation with men; they’re upset that men have a ‘loneliness epidemic’ and have some work to do as a gender. I tell them that women work very, very hard on women’s liberation and were met with a lot of pushback, but we continued anyway. Men can do the same, but women can’t create men’s liberation for them. They’re sitting at the start of the path, like we did, and they don’t have to follow the path that we built to make things easier, but they certainly can…”
“Plenty of those resources do exist for men. They just don’t look for them. It’s another version of learned helplessness or weaponized incompetence.”
“Honestly, there’s no point in wasting your time listening to men like that. Just ignore them; they only want to play the victim. They complain about all the whatnot that women get but they don’t even bother to look up the equivalent for men. AND if there’s an equivalent, they complain. ‘Oh look how no one is saying anything…’ instead of putting in the effort to go support other men. During International Men’s Day, I saw so many men complaining about not getting special treatment with things like special offers from stores, etc., while women were out there giving props to all the good men in their lives and showing support.”
“How about a ‘men try to actually support each other’ challenge?”
Here is a web site I found with some resources for adult male .
