" One of the guys compliment me on ' not bring my flow to work . ' "
If you’re a woman with a job — any job, really — there’s a good chance you’ve experienced some form of sexism at work. Whether it’s subtle condescension, outright harassment, or the kind of casual misogyny that’s so normalized it barely raises eyebrows anymore, we’ve all been there. And unfortunately, the stories are as endless as they are infuriating.
To highlight just how pervasive and exhausting this reality is, weaskedwomenin theBuzzFeed Communityto share the most sexist, inappropriate, or just plain jaw-dropping things men have said or done to them in a professional setting. The responses came flooding in — and unsurprisingly, they’re equal parts infuriating and familiar. Here are 30 stories that show what it’s really like to work as a woman:
1.“I got my first ‘real’ job at 15. I worked in a bagel cafe after school and on weekends. My middle-aged boss would slap my ass so hard it left red prints, and he’d force me into his lap while he counted cash in the office. I was mortified and felt disgusting. I finally had the balls to stop showing up for work and got fired. My mother then made me call my boss and beg for my job back. Unfortunately, he was all too happy to take me back.”
2.“I worked for years as a litigation paralegal for a mid-sized LA law firm in my late 20s. I rocked at my job, and my attorneys appreciated my work so much that they shared their year-end bonuses with me. I got engaged, married, and had my first child while working there — I truly loved my work family. However, when I got pregnant with my second child, I was fired out of the blue by one of the old, uptight male partners who said, and I quote, ‘You ‘girls’ get pregnant too much.”
" I got permission to action from the British Labour Party board , but did n’t go through with it because I did n’t postulate the focus while pregnant . The business firm went under a few years subsequently , so karma take precaution of it . "
— debrastarrm
3.“When I was a service writer, I was the only woman in my department. Most of my coworkers were great guys, and I had an awesome manager. But I remember one of the guys complimenting me on ‘not bringing my period to work.’ He was genuinely surprised that I was not a mess every month, could still work, and was discreet about tampons and pads.”
— dellarock
4.“When I was a single mom in college, I worked at Home Depot as a cashier. My manager, who was married, always hugged me when he saw me. I didn’t love that, but when he worked the front end and I needed a key, he was always the first to get there — and would ask me to run away with him, just loud enough for me to hear. I hated it, but there was no reporting him. The front-end supervisors were antagonistic toward me, and HR turned a blind eye. I quit after a while because I was literally hiding from him — looking down aisles just to avoid him and his gross hugs.”
5.“Current job, current male boss: I was told I was ‘squishy’ because I was visibly upset upon learning a coworker and friend had taken his own life over the weekend (it was first thing Monday morning). The same dudebro, a few weeks later, overheard me telling a coworker that my husband had found his birth mother and sister and had spoken to both of them (my husband is 43 and, until then, didn’t know who they were or if they were even alive). I got a little emotional relaying the story, and he said in front of several colleagues, ‘Oh, that’s right, you’re all squishy and weepy.'”
" Look , dude , just because I can name more than two emotions does n’t stand for I ’m this bleary - eyed mess who sobs every meter someone look at me sidewise . Holy hell , I feel bad for his married woman . "
— jujubeez379
6.“I’ve worked as an assistant manager and higher for a video game retailer for years. The number of times I’ve been asked, ‘Do you play games?’ or asked to prove that I play games is astronomical. Also, the number of times I’ve had random strangers creep on me when I’m in the store alone…”
7.“There was a male server who kept telling me to shush because I was ‘too loud.’ After a while, I realized he didn’t treat any of the men that way — bartenders, servers, whomever. When I asked him to stop, he said he would when I learned to lower my voice.”
" I also had to take in him pursue another female waiter to get intoxicated at a wine tasting , even though she made it unclouded again and again that she was n’t comfortable . "
— noga1205
8.“When I was in my early 20s, I worked for the VA hospital in the surgical services administration, where all the head surgeons had their offices and residents came through for meetings and mail. My desk was right by their mailboxes. I was constantly dealing with residents saying sexist things to me, asking me out, and distracting me from my work. It was like they thought I was employed as an ornamental figurine to look at. I was pulled into HR for my outfits (early 2000s — I wore a lot of long skirts) being ‘too sexy.’ The only skin you could see, aside from my wrists and ankles, was from my neck up. I’m small — 5'1” and 95 pounds. No part of me, especially my chest, sticks out. But yes, I was still the problem for ‘being too distracting.’ I also had the married-with-kids cardiothoracic head surgeon constantly harassing me. But again, my fault for distracting him."
As women , we are just supposed to ' take the compliment . ' NO . regale us like the human beingness that we are . I came here to work , not to be harassed or to search for a husband . It ’s so infuriating to be treated that mode , regardless of how intelligent or capable you are . It all boils down to being in inspection and repair of men .
FUCK . THAT . "
— katieyoung4
9.“I had a coworker tell me my linen joggers were inappropriate for work because they had pockets — and ‘women’s pants don’t have pockets in them!'”
— abbiem4a529eed7
10.“I was 18 and working at a popular burger-and-fry chain restaurant. I had been there maybe six months and had trained in nearly every position: register, dining room, prep, buns, grill, and fry station. My 40-something manager told me multiple times that I always got assigned to the dining room because he liked the way I bent over the tables to clean them. He’d also tell me to wipe the legs of the chairs because he thought I’d do a particular motion to clean them — you can imagine which one.”
11.“As a software engineer, I was placed by the front door because, and I quote, ‘We don’t have a secretary, so since you’re here, people can ask you when they come in.’ I went back to my old job because of that place — and they’re no longer in business.”
— prettyfartmachine
12.“At one of my first jobs in my early 20s, the CFO — a man in his 60s — frequently asked me to go pick up lunch orders for client meetings or to sit at the front desk if a vendor, client, or interviewee came by. I was just happy to be employed and didn’t point out that I had actual work to do. He always pulled me aside to ask, so it took a while for my manager (a woman in her 30s) to notice. She waslividand dressed him down in front of half the office. He was confounded and said he’d only asked me because I was the ‘newest’ employee. She pointed out that wasn’t true and asked why he hadn’t asked the (male) intern. His face turned red, and he mumbled that it wouldn’t happen again. The next week, he hired a receptionist rather than ask the intern.”
— yeahokwhatevermeh
13.“I was working retail and married when I got pregnant. The store manager asked me why I wasn’t on birth control. Then the assistant manager — who was married with kids and considered himself God’s gift to women — suggested we should have a fling. He said since I was already pregnant, what harm could it do?”
14.“I went on my honeymoon (years ago) on a two-week cruise. When I came back to work, my much older boss happily congratulated me on ‘not getting fat on all that free food.'”
" He was the most horrifying , sexist , misogynistic person I ’ve ever worked for in my living . "
— lauram147
15.“While being interviewed for a position on a team that a friend of mine was a member of, I was asked about my salary request should I be offered the position. I had more experience than my friend, and I had been his mentor — but I told them I would accept the same pay as my colleague. I was then told they would have to pay me 30% less than the men. When they offered me the job, I told them to go find someone with less self-respect than me.”
— auscgirl
16.“Once, in a staff meeting, I had to get up to go back to work because customers were lining up. In front of everyone, my boss yelled, ‘Where do you think you’re going, young lady?!’ I took another manager with me and went into his office later. I then told him he is not my father and I will not be embarrassed or degraded in front of everyone.”
" He was completely shocked and did n’t know what to say . He was later fired for how horribly he treated all of us . "
— tumanatalie
17.“When I was about 16, I worked at a daycare center. We had this older grandfather who would pick up his grandson most of the time. He would constantly hit on me and say the grossest things. It got so bad that every time we saw him come in, I’d hide in the bathroom. The center was shaped like a circle, and I worked in the room in the middle with windows all around. You could watch him looking into every room to see if he could find me.”
18.“I worked in an accounting office at a major Boston firm. I was the only woman at my job level. Every single morning, as I walked to my desk, my ‘superior’ commented on my outfit. Every. Single. Day. It caused all six or seven men on that side of the office to look up. If he passed me getting coffee, he commented on my weight or figure every single time.”
" My response was always not to react at all — because even a dog will stop over doing something if he gets no chemical reaction . I hated that case of aid . It was so patronizing , unfitting , and unenviable . None of the men at my line of work point had to make do with it . "
— janetroberta
19.“A male coworker told me he and another male coworker were placing bets on whether I was pregnant. I was just getting fatter. Thanks so much for pointing that out. If I wasn’t self-conscious before (I was), I sure as hell am now!”
— threestories
20.“I’m a basketball coach and referee (second-highest level of referee in my country), and I practice twice a week with the men’s division team. One day, I was going to a sports day for school kids in the county, and another coach from my club was going as well. We each had some exercises to teach the kids to get them interested in basketball, and this guy had the audacity to ask if he should show the kidsmyexercises because he wasn’t sure I knew how to do a layup. I’m always biting my tongue with this guy (he’s around 50), as we’re in the same club, but he refuses to acknowledge that I know anything about basketball. He also calls me ‘the lady with the whistle’ instead of ‘ref’ — to his team as well as parents, etc. — to try to show them how to disrespect me on and off the court.”
21.“I used to work with this guy who was a notorious mansplainer. One time, I actually did need him to explain something to me — but I made a point of approaching him to say, “OK, so I understand X, Y and Z, but here’s just the one part that I need explained…’ He proceeded to explaineverythingI’d just said I understood before finally getting to what I actually needed to know.”
— nopenc
22.“I work in construction, and I also happen to be 6 feet tall and 200 pounds. The number of decrepit old men and men half my size who say things like, ‘Oh my god, no, you delicate flower! Please don’t pick that up! Women don’t carry things,’ or some ridiculous version of that, ishigh. One guy was dropping off aluminum window samples, and the box maybe weighed 25 pounds max. I went to help him unload because, in my eyes, he’s an elder — you help elders. Well, he saw me come out and asked if there was a man who could help. I said I got it, and he tried to take it back, like, ‘Oh, well, I got it, lil’ lady! These are heavy!’ So I said, ‘This is not heavy, but I understand why a man of your age would think that. Let me help you since you’re struggling!’ He then complained to my boss that I called him old.”
" LMAO — boss did n’t wish . "
— asdfghj2
23.“After being blown off all day by the engineer — and therefore unable to work — I said to him, ‘You haven’t been helpful to me today,’ in just a plain, normal voice. No yelling or name-calling. Nothing other than what I just wrote. He complained to HR.”
" Old white men do not like char aver anything other than , ' You are rattling . ' "
— midgemarkey
24.“I’ve had my district manager (I’m a manager in a grocery store) come in, see everything looking good, and literally say, ‘Good girl,’ to me. I’m 37 years old.”
25.“I had a male student fail every project for not following directions. This was a graduate student, and it’s very unusual for students to earn low marks — let alone fail — at that level. When I scheduled a meeting with him and his advisor, he explained that reading instructions is for women, so henever reads themand just handed in what he thought was probably right based on the project title. He said I should be willing to tell him what to do at each step so he didn’t have to read. He added that he’d consider reading directions if the guy who wrote the textbook provided them. I wrote the textbook — my name was literally on the cover.”
" There were no ' cat ' involve . My editor and publisher were also female faculty member . He was getting a Ph.D. in engineering and had to take my required penning row to finish . I can not fathom a willingness to throw away 12 - plus days of pedagogy over reading operating instructions . "
— abcdg
26.“Back when I worked in commissioned retail, part of our job involved cleaning up after ourselves when we finished working with a customer. This one older guy had to be forced into it. He didn’t want to clean because ‘that’s a woman’s job.’ I made a point to never touch any of his crap.”
— noideasforausername
27.“I worked as a bartender for a casino and was setting up the portable bars for a concert that night. One of our new bartenders — an extreme douche of a man-child — came up behind me while I was reaching out with both arms to move the bar (they’re on wheels but still pretty heavy) and commented on how small I am. He then proceeded to pick me up from behind as I stood up straight, literally grabbing me by my ribs and lifting me. I was like, ‘Dude, WTF are you doing? Put me down!’ He had the audacity to try to explain away his behavior because he just couldn’t believe someone my size could manage the work I was already doing without his help.”
28.“I was around 19, on the phone with my mid-50s boss. I had a cold and had partially lost my voice. He told me I ‘had my sexy voice on.’ Super creepy.”
" I ’m also Christian , and he promise me ' Bible Incorporated . ' This was my first business out of shoal , and I was so naïve — it took me way too foresighted to realize this was n’t OK . "
— cmegs20
29.“When I was 19, I worked as a server in a sports bar. Another girl my age started with me. She was stunning. The manager told me I’d have to work harder because she was too pretty to care about work.”
30.“I’m a member of the management staff on my all-female team at work. Recently, a couple of my fellow managers were interviewing a male candidate for an entry-level position, and at the end of the interview, he told them they had ‘sweet, approachable, and calming presences.’ That’s not that bad in general, butwhatmakes a man think that’s OK to say to two women who are potentially going to be his bosses?”
" He was in his early 20 , and they ’re both between 25 and 30 . "
— jens31
