" I ’ve been out of my last situation for about eight eld and have finally gotten to the point where I do n’t do this . "
When you meet someone new, there might be subtle things about their personality that may indicate that they had a difficult life or childhood. But what are some of these things? Well, a redditorasked: “What’s a subtle sign that someone has been through a lot of shit in life?” and close to four thousand people answered. Here’s what they said below.
1.“They are really calm during a crisis, but not necessarily when the crisis has passed.”
2.“Exceptional situational awareness. They know where people around them are, and generally, everything happening around them.”
— shemanese
" As my therapist would say , this is calledhypervigilance . "
— Conscious - Advice8177
TheNational Alliance on Mental Illnesshelpline is 1-888-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services;GoodTherapy.orgis an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
" This score my hubby overturned , but I do n’t be intimate how he can just go through living without paying any fucking care . "
— Available - Egg-2380
3.“They appear distant or emotionally reserved, especially when it comes to personal topics, and struggle with opening up or letting people in.”
4.“Memory problems.”
— imcurioustellme
" This is how my learning ability lot with all my shit . I have fundamentally zero memory of my childhood , especially surrounding shit that happened to me , but I have some ' core ' memories of utmost trauma or situation that go on around me .
The same goes for an adult trauma , where I crashed my motorcycle into the side of a truck . My only memory of that Clarence Day is me getting quick to drive ( getting dress , etc ) and then putting my mitt on the door hold . Then I heat up in the hospital . "
— Aurori_Swe
5.“They don’t know how to accept kindness, or are suspicious of it.”
6.“They usually fall into one of these three:”
" Hyper - reactive and defensive — always on edge , because aliveness ’s learn them to expect the worst . ( Unprocessed psychic trauma . )
Withdrawn and distant — they ’ve shut out the world as a flesh of tribute . ( defence , closing off , control out from citizenry or lifespan . )
Chill to the point of separation — they ’ve give up caring about most things because caring too much used to bruise .
But at the destruction of the day , if you really think about it , these are all just assumption . We never truly bed unless that person chooses to share their trueness . "
— FitAdministration257
" This is actually entirely honest , on a psychological degree . What you just distinguish are the three most common coping mechanisms / defence mechanism of a person who ’s facing trauma .
1 ) Fight 2 ) Flight 3 ) freezing .
What citizenry do n’t verbalise about often , though , is that there is a quaternary , which isFawn . It ’s when you attach to people too easy , give all of yourself / resources / opinions off so as to please others in the hope you ’ll stay ' dependable ' as long as you stay put compliant and subservient to a sure person / situation . "
— Yamsforyou
7.“When closing a door, they turn the door knob, push the door in, then release the knob so that it closes as quietly as possible.”
8.“Not only do they not ask for help, but they also don’t like to burden others with whatever’s going on.”
— Brodgah
9.“They have no tolerance for manufactured drama.”
10.“There’s nothing you can say that will surprise them. They know how fucked up the world is. They know what people can do. Even the good ones.”
— isthatasupra717
" I actually had to kind of instruct myself how to be surprised by thing , or at least reply with surprise when it ’s expected . Like , I ’m not actually shocked at my coworker ’s account about a wild ex who went to prison house for atrocious shit , but I know I ’m suppose to be surprised , so I go through the motions of saying , ' Oh my god , that ’s barbaric . That ’s so dreadful . Then what happened ? Jesus . '
I realized one day that a lack of surprise reply is sometimes perceive by others as me being rude or uncaring , so now I give them the chemical reaction they expect . "
— Slothfulness69
11.“Probably one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet.”
12.“They sit and watch in social settings. Very observant.”
— common - watt
" Yes . Tend to mind far more than they speak , and have a strong firmness of purpose and quiet authority about them . In my experience , they run to be far more liberal and empathetic as well . "
— DoLittlest
13.“They are funny.”
14.“Doesn’t reminisce or miss being a kid. Has plan b, c, d, and is working on e, f, g.”
— summer_vibes_only
15.“They apologize for everything.”
16.“We struggle to accept compliments.”
— Oceanliving32
" The only compliments we were raised with were backhanded . "
— P1917
" I have spent a fortune of time conceive about why this is true and what I came to realize for myself at least was that compliments were never just a compliment . They were indicators of next expectations and demand : ' You ’re so good at calming me down . ' - > ' I will require you to determine myemotionsfor me in the hereafter . ' ' You ’re doing so well at school . ' - > ' you’re able to never falter or you will be punished . ' Nothing come without strings and a veiled threat . "
— amethystpineapple
17.“Stockpiling things. Not necessarily hoarding but keeping an excess of food, toiletries, etc. and freaking out when something is ‘low.'”
TheNational Alliance on Mental Illnesshelpline is 1 - 888 - 950 - 6264 ( NAMI ) and provides information and referral services;GoodTherapy.orgis an connection of mental wellness professional from more than 25 land who support sweat to reduce scathe in therapy .
