" She ’s not the A - hollow for asking , and you ’re not the A - trap for reject . She ’s the A - fix for not admit your ' no . ' "
Recently, Reddit userSilent_Marsupial3824(or OP, for Original Poster)sharedthat she recently had a run-in with a mom at a restaurant, and she wanted to know,“AITAH (Am I The A-Hole) for refusing to share my table with a woman and her two children?”
She explained: “During my lunch break (at the busiest time of the restaurant), a woman approached me with her children and asked if we could share a table, since there were no others available. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable sharing space with strangers. She got upset, claiming that her situation was difficult with two small children. Luckily, a waiter arrived and told her they already had a table for her. Before leaving, she insulted me again.”
Commenters swiftly came to OP’s defense. Even parents were on her side, declaring her, “NTA (Not The A-Hole). People with children have to wait to be seated just like everyone else. I could see this happening at a busy mall food court, but asking at an actual restaurant is pretty entitled. I’ve had to wait for seating with small children at restaurants. It’s part of life.”
— MarthaT001
" I have children . When they were younger , start to a coffee bar was often my time to get some public security by myself . The LAST affair I would ’ve want was to have someone else ’s shaver ( who I ’ve never met ) in my space . "
— MichaSound
“It’s weird that your colleague reacted that way. Maybe she’s a mother herself and doesn’t understand that you’re not obligated to like other people’s children? I understand that children are wonderful, but not everyone is required to share that enthusiasm.”
— Mischievous_Muse
“This is weird behavior. I also have small children. We’re all extroverts, but I would never dream of asking a stranger at a restaurant to share a table. Maybe at a seat-yourself coffee shop, but only in a pinch. Generally, if it’s too busy, I simply leave.”
" have kids does n’t intend you may be an entitled d*ck . "
— autoredial
“If you were sitting in your car and she opened the door and asked you to give her a ride, you would say no. She’d complain that you have all these extra seats, and she has two small children. You’d try to explain yourself, and she’d get confrontational. When you put the same story in a different setting, you’restillnot at fault in any universe.”
— Queen_B84
One person even suspected that the mom was trying to scam OP into paying for her family’s meal. “Had you already paid for your food (like in fast food restaurants), or would the server bring your bill after you finished eating (like in sit-down places)? Especially considering there were other tables available, this mom likely has numerous ways to weasel out of paying — whether sob-storying you, slipping out and telling the server you’re paying for her, or essentially dine-and-dashing.”
But some commenters required more context before making a ruling. “Where did this incident take place? In some cultures, this behavior would be acceptable. In others, this wouldn’t be tolerated.”
— HMS_Slartibartfast
" Yep . In section of Asia , it ’s normal or even bear that you ’ll portion out a tabular array with strangers at gimcrack eating place … "
— captainhornheart
Others thought everyone was in the wrong. “ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). Sharing a table doesn’t mean you have to be friends. You’re all sharing space regardless. Be kind.”
— Simple_Mix_4995
" Yes , ESH . I recollect the decorous thing would have been to just get her sit down with you . Spread benignity . If you were in her situation , you ’d want the same matter . "
— No - Opposite-11
A few commenters even criticized OP’s reaction to a mom in need, saying she “sounds like an antisocial creep.”
Silent_Marsupial3824later posted an update to answer some of the commenters' questions. “I don’t understand what the type of restaurant has to do with the situation, but it’s a regular restaurant near my work. It’s not fast food. You don’t need a reservation. If tables are available, you walk in and sit down. All the tables have four seats. When it gets full, you have to wait in line, and a waiter will tell you when there are tables available. In my case, I arrived before the busy time.”
" Secondly , I know I could have lied to the mama by saying I was fed up or waiting for someone , but why should I have to dwell ? I decide to be honest , and I do n’t think I was rude when I told her I felt uncomfortable with the thought to divvy up my space with a alien . "
She continued: “No, I don’t have children. I have nephews and some children in my life who I love, but that doesn’t mean I like other children. Some commenters said there are places where this behavior is normal. But in my city, it’s uncommon to sit at a stranger’s table, regardless of whether it’s a cafeteria, McDonald’s, or a food court.”
" Where I subsist ( Bogota , Colombia ) , these situation of partake in a space like a board are n’t common . It depends on the tabular array , of class . I eff eatery where there are long communal tables , and everyone pose at the same tabular array . But this position did n’t have a share-out insurance or the spaces for that . "
“And finally something I’d like to ask those who tell me I’m unkind or selfish: Would it have been okay the other way around? A man approaching a family at a restaurant, asking to sit with them, and not taking no for an answer?”
So now, I’d love to know who you think is in the wrong. Did the mom with two kids overstep, or was OP out of line for denying the mother’s request?
H/Tr/AITAH
Some responses have been edited for distance and clarity .
