" I do n’t remember anyone would wonder a momma and daughter doing this , so why ca n’t a father - son do it , too ? "
ThisReddit conversationwas started by a 46-year-old dadu/throwaway03042025who says he is “certainly not cool” but has a good relationship with his 16-year-old son:
“About a week ago, I was on the couch watching TV, and my son came in and sat down on the couch beside me. He laid his head on my shoulder, put his arms around me, and basically cuddled me. My wife and I just looked at each other, puzzled, and shrugged. I wasn’t going to complain. I hugged him back and I played with his hair a bit and rubbed his back some (he was shirtless). We never said anything. After a while he got up and announced he was going to bed,” he starts.
“A few days later, he did it again, cuddled me for a bit, and then laid his head on my lap. Again, I played with his hair some. I had my other arm tucked by my side for a while, but that got uncomfortable, so eventually, I just rested it on my son’s stomach/chest (he was shirtless as usual and lying on his back). I asked how school was going and got a fairly snappy ‘Everything’s fine, Dad.’ We didn’t say anything else.”
u/throwaway03042025then said his wife feels like something is going on with their son and he should talk to him about it. “I don’t deny wondering if there’s something causing this new behavior, but I’m enjoying it while it lasts, and I don’t want to ‘jinx’ it. I feel like if I question it, he will think I think it’s weird and stop. But I do hope he’s okay,” he explained.
In addition, his wife thinks he is being “a little too touchy.” He shared, “She said there’s nothing wrong with some hugging and light cuddling but playing with his hair and rubbing his back and chest is getting a little weird. I was just trying to comfort him, and he doesn’t seem to mind, so I think it’s fine. Also, for the record, I didn’t feel like I was ‘rubbing’ his chest; my arm was just kinda resting there. She also finds it a little strange he didn’t put a shirt on.”
He then asked other Reddit users: “Do I let my son be and just enjoy the moment? Ask him what’s going on? Is our level of touching appropriate?”
“I think it’s a safe space, and I think I wouldn’t change that father-son bond for a moment. It’s completely fine, and he trusts you.”
— u / OrangutansTits
" I remember having moments like this as a teen , you suddenly realize you ’re turn up , your parent love you , and if you do n’t nest them now , one day you ’ll be too one-time . ' I ’m not too honest-to-god yet ; I ’m still your little boy . ' It ’s sweet . "
— u / Artistic_Recipe9297
“My 18-year-old is a cuddler with dad or me. My brother, who is 47, will still cuddle with my 81-year-old mom on the couch. It’s called love.”
— u / twobugmama
“Here’s the thing: what’s ‘usual’ in America is the isolation and exclusion of young men. You reach an age/size where people just STOP touching you. You’re a threat from that point on. It’s lonely, it sucks, and people have no sympathy for you. You may prefer to be touched, idly or platonically, just to have some human contact and feel like you aren’t alone, but of course, you can’t express that because it’s not ‘usual.’ It can be lonely and isolating. People have no right to wonder why young men in America are fucked up and vulnerable to manipulation by ANYONE who makes them feel less alone.”
— u / AllTimeLoad
“My dad was like this growing up. He was super kind, always hugged me, and told me he loved me. He straight up saved my life by being that Dad. I’m turning 37, and I still brag about how great my dad is. Heck, I’m gonna call him right now.”
— u / Ophialacria
“If this is new behavior, I would definitely try to see what’s up. He may be feeling depressed or something. And about your wife saying it is ‘too touchy’: Part of me gets this, but my wife does this with her mom all the time, specifically for the hair playing. I don’t think anyone would question a mom and daughter doing this, so why can’t a father-son do it, too?”
— u / Organizedchaos90
“I suspect people will disagree with me, but I think that’s totally fine, appropriate, and healthy. As men, we don’t have much opportunity for plutonic touching like that. I personally think it’s something we’re really lacking, and I would like to see societal attitudes change around this. Your son is growing up, and he probably feels like his opportunities for that kind of affection (that would be more common as a younger kid) are slipping away. I think it’s great that he feels comfortable being close to you like that. Unfortunately, it’s probably not going to last for much longer, so I’d just enjoy it while it lasts…”
" Rather than necessitate your boy if everything is okay specifically in carnal knowledge to this new behavior , maybe have that conversation at a unlike time , like at the dinner party table . Make the conversation more general and not connected to the cuddling deportment . I sense he ’s just going through the stage of growing up , and as you feel your child - corresponding innocence steal away , you experience pitiful about it and want to hang on to it a piffling bit longer . "
— atomic number 92 / Gr8_Save
— u / doubleds8600
“Woman here. This struck a chord with me watching my husband and our 16-year-old son. I think it’s super important for you NOT to act like any of this is weird. These kids are living in uncertain times and they need all the safety, reassurance, and respect that we can give.”
— atomic number 92 / KrissyBookBee3
“Is it strange that your 16-year-old son wants to cuddle with you, his father? Possibly, but who cares if you are okay with it and he’s ok with it, and it is just that: a father and son bonding. Be glad your son likes you. I hate my father and would never even think of touching him with anything other than a closed fist.”
— u / soulreaver1984
“Adults have so many weird sexual hangups, man. What the hell is wrong with being close to your son? It’s only weird if you make it weird. Almost every adult I know is SEVERELY lacking intimate NON-SEXUAL contact. Everyone is completely deprived and fucked up about it. Please just let him be himself. If you aren’t his safe space, where the hell is?”
— uracil / LoTheReaper
“It sounds like a fundamental change, so I’d be worried; there’s nothing necessarily wrong with any of it, but it sounds like he might be struggling with something he can’t articulate and is going for comfort. He should put on a shirt, though.”
— u / No - K - Reddit
“I’m more concerned about the wife’s reaction. Is she assuming that this indicates that there may be some abuse going on? Is that how far our society has gone down the rabbit hole of assuming that all men are rapists waiting to be allowed to indulge?”
— u / BlindSkwerrl
“Hug your son, man. My dad died a year ago, and I miss the way he smelled when we hugged. Father/son love is irreplaceable. Teach him to pass it on to your future grandchildren.”
— uranium / SlappyPappyAmerica
“I had something similar happen with my 18-year-old son. He went from being super non-touchy to suddenly wanting to hug me all the time and wanting to spend all his time with me. I rolled with it, and shortly after, he confided a LOT of dark thoughts he’d been having and a lot of teen worries (about getting older and friendship issues, etc). We’re closer now than we were before. I’d say something is going on, and he’s struggling to communicate it. He simply wants comfort and the safety of his dad.”
— u / Flat_Ad_3513
NOTE : Some submissions have been blue-pencil for length and/or lucidity .
