Is lateness a dealbreaker for you ?
Lateness can be a contentious issue — some of us genuinely have time blindness, while others think any tardiness is just plain disrespectful. Reddit userExpress_Dog_4442(or OP, for Original Poster) is one of those people — they recently shared how theywalked out on a dateafter the other person was 15 minutes late.
Express_Dog_4442said, “I connected with someone on a dating app, and after a while of texting we agreed to a restaurant date as our first time meeting in real life. To clarify: In my profile, I have listed people not being on time as my biggest red flag. In our chat, I talked about how punctuality is a really important virtue to me, and when we planned the date, I specifically told her to text me should something come up or if there are any delays.”
" Come the clip and Clarence Day of the date , and she is n’t there . I look and check my telephone set , and she has n’t texted me anything . She at last arrives 15 minutes late . I ask her why she was late . She shrugs and says that buzz off quick just took longer than gestate . I involve her if , before she drove here , she already knew she would n’t make it in time . She says ‘ yes ’ . I ask her why she did n’t text me . She says she did n’t because she was only ' a small late , ' and started looking visibly annoyed .
At that point , I excused myself , say our values do n’t line up , and left her there .
She proceeded to shout after me and bollocks up my telephone set before I unmatched her when I got home .
AITA ? I just have absolutely zero margin for not being on time without good reasons , especially when you do n’t even put across it properly and are n’t even sorry about it . I cognize my standard are rough , but I feel like I was very subject about it and gave plentifulness of warnings . "
Responses were divided, with many people backing OP up.
“NTA. If she had apologized, I’d say you were too harsh. But who doesn’t apologize for being late? That’s the issue, IMO.”
— Practical - Stock8481
“NTA: Now I would usually say this is an overreaction, but in your case, where it’s listed on your profile, you had a conversation regarding lateness before the date, and you explained how you would like someone to respond if they are late, and she just ignored that. Honestly, wouldn’t even be the lateness that bothered me, but the lack of respect.”
— asunder - Scene-9059
“The lack of any accountability or apology seems to speak for her values and lack of respect for the OP. I think you handled this perfectly.”
— Farucci
“15 minutes is very late to me without giving the other party a heads up, and that’s with friends. As a first date, that’s a horrible first impression and I’d be pissed as well.”
— Life_Detail4117
Others pointed out that while OP was technically “right,” that wasn’t necessarily a good thing.
“As someone who is super punctual myself, I get the frustration, but the reality is that 99% of the world thinks being 15 minutes late is no big deal. You may have trouble finding a suitable partner if you aren’t a little flexible on that point.”
— JexilTwiddlebaum
“Well you did warn her. But you sound exhausting.”
— Radioactive_water1
“This is what I consider a pretty rare situation, where technically, you’re not ‘the asshole’ in this particular situation, but I’m sorry man, you very much come off like an asshole generally…in this post at least, you sound intolerant and pompous to the point of being insufferable. I wouldn’t want someone like you in my life.”
— Spiraling_Swordfish
“I rolled my eyes when OP said ‘zero tolerance.’ It’s rude as hell to not text someone you’re running late. If I’m running late AT ALL, I will let someone know, no matter what our relationship is. So that part is not cool and does suck. But god, OP is one of those people who will set you up for failure. Gonna learn the hard way that being inflexible will yield a very lonely life.”
— DJBlandy
“For what it’s worth I think she had a bad reason for being late (‘took too long to get ready’ strikes me as a shitty excuse compared to ‘traffic was bad’). And I think she could have sent a “running 10 min behind' text… However, OP’s interrogation of her immediately is far, far worse than her discourtesy. Speaking as someone who would text if I was five or more minutes late, I would walk out on any guy who started a date with an interrogation like that.”
— Throwawayamanager
“That’s such a bizarre thing to get hung up on. An hour? Even half an hour? Yeah, sure, that would get annoying. But 15 minutes feels like a bizarre thing to write someone off for.”
— SpoopyDuJour
Several commenters pointed out that OP is the one missing out…
“Seriously…could have been the love of his life, and he throws it away because she’s a little nonchalant with punctuality. Dude sounds exhausting. While he’s ‘NTA’ by technicality, I’d say SHE is the one that dodged a bullet.”
— Quaz1ne
“Whatever works for you. I dated a woman in the 1980s who was chronically late. I didn’t like it much. Anyway, we’ve been married 38 years. There’s more to life than punctuality.”
— Ridicutarded-73
“I was nearly three hours late for my first date with my dear late husband. We were engaged six months later. Some people are worth the wait.”
— Glitterati0406
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the poll and comment below!
mention : Story and responses have been edit for distance / clarity .
