" I feel like two partners who are really attached to each other will find the time . "
If you’ve ever been in a long-termrelationship— whether dating or married — keeping things exciting (and spicy!) is important. So, what happens when you throw kids into the mix? A Reddit thread recently asked,“How do you have an active sex life after having kids?“Here’s what people had to say:
1.“Ever have to do laundry? Throw some chicken nuggets at the kids, turn the TV on, then go ‘do laundry.’ Might only be a few minutes, but it can work.”
2.“With remote work, we have a ‘rendezvous meeting’ during the day whenever we have time in our professional agenda.”
— atomic number 92 / vidango
3.“Don’t allow the kids to sleep in your bed. Set a bedtime routine relatively early. If you’re usually exhausted by that time, get creative during the day. Turn on a movie and lock the door.”
4.“Don’t be afraid to plan sex. Some people think that it takes the romance out of it, but you can’t afford to be impulsive when you’ve got kids. My wife and I still manage two to three times a week after 12 years together with two kids.”
— u / TBK_Winbar
5.“Vaseline. Not the way you think. Put it on the door handle so the little gremlins can’t get in. Joking, I love my kids more than anything.”
6.“Nap time.”
— uracil / Lower_Surround1727
7.“Help each other get enough sleep, so when the kids go to bed, you both have energy.”
8.“Send them to their grandparents for a bit.”
— atomic number 92 / frustratedhater
9.“Marriage isn’t 50/50, it is 100/100. You need to be all in all the time. Put each other first always. Flirt all day, every day. We have been married for 32 years and have four kids. We have an amazing sex life, three to four times a week.”
10.“A locking bedroom door and a white noise machine for the kiddo.”
— u / LadyJenniferal
11.“My wife and I ‘take showers’ at the same time all the time. Save their screen time for advantageous moments.”
12.“Ever heard the saying, ‘Sleep when the baby sleeps?’ Same concept.”
— u / WeedEmAndReap
13.“Role playing is a great way to achieve this. Imagination is key, and you’ll end up having so much fun. Brainstorm some scenarios with your partner and give it a go!”
14.“My friend and her husband rush to have naptime quickies in the laundry room or wherever it makes sense, and she says it’s the most fun sex era they’ve ever had.”
— u / spiffle4
15.“I think you have to accept having sex wherever you can find the time. Morning sex before the kids have woken up. Afternoon sex when everyone else is out of the house. Late-night sex when the kids have gone to bed. I feel like two partners who are committed to each other will find the time.”
16.“Quietly. And teach kids privacy and boundaries at a young age.”
— uranium / jmward1984
17.“Kids sleep. Quickies while kids are occupied are the bomb (younger kids nap). Date night includes sex. Add the rule, no disagreement is finished until you have makeup sex.”
18.“Spooning still leads to forking.”
— u / GulfCoastLover
19.“We were blessed with a heavy sleeper, so naptime and bedtime were reliable windows for getting down. It’s also important to recognize that this is a huge change, and everybody reacts differently. Don’t force yourselves to do anything that feels exhausting or mechanical. Sex isn’t what maintains a connection between two people. It’s caring for one another and responding to a partner’s needs. That takes many forms, and it might be sex!”
20.“Before having kids, my wife and I got the best advice: ‘This child is entering YOUR life, not the other way around. Learn to continue to live your life with the addition of the child. Don’t replace your life with the kid’s every whim, like the world tells you, to be a good parent. The kid needs to learn the world doesn’t revolve around them.’ As an educator and a parent, I wish more people understood this.”
— u / garagedooropener5150
Note : Some responses have been blue-pencil for distance and/or clarity .
