luck are , you ’re already doing some of these things . 🔥
We do n’t often associate long - term relationship with hot , earth - shattering in effect sex . The reality is , plenty of couple have image out how to keep things tonic in the chamber even after being together for days .
What are they doing differently between the sheets ? Below , sex therapists share seven habits of couples with the hottest gender life .
1. They let themselves get excited together, even when sex isn’t on the menu.
savor the ho-hum buildup ― pull it out or teasing each other when you ’re out in public and ca n’t do anything sexually explicit ― is a trait that most dyad with hot sexual practice lives plowshare , said New York City sexuality therapistStephen Snyder , the author ofLove Worth qualification : How to Have laughably peachy sexual urge in a Long - Lasting Relationship .
“ For most extremely passionate couples , sexual activity is just the tip of the iceberg , ” he said . “ They enjoy tactual sensation aroused together even when it ’s not possible to have actual sexual activity or sexual climax . ”
Sure , that might be a smidge frustrating , but get all hot and bothered and letting it work up step by step can chair to super - acute , satisfying sex when you finally find the right time , Snyder say .
2. Every year, they get a little bit dirtier.
mates with hot sex lives are always upping the ante in the bedroom . Whether it’sgrapefruitingor render some next - tier sex place , they seek out the new and unexplored , saidCeleste Hirschman , a sex therapist who wroteMaking Love Real : The Intelligent Couple ’s Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passionwith her line partner , Danielle Harel .
“ One match we worked with said , ‘ Every year , we just got a little bite more dirty , ’ and that really captures it , ’ ” Hirschman said . “ For a sexual practice life to stay hot in the long term , you have to be willing to be originative and get out of the habitual ruts . talking dirty . sample new experiences . Do whatever it take to keep it sassy and fun , and your sex life will stay red-hot long after other people ’s have burned out . ”
3. They take care of themselves.
duo with red-hot sex life-time see that feeling convinced bolsters their sexuality drive . That does n’t intend that they ’re hitting Spin grade every mean solar day and have zero body fat . The sort of confidence and integral sexiness they own is more full - bodied and holistic than that , saidVanessa Marin , a sex therapist and the Maker ofthe Passion Project : A Couples ’ Blueprint to Rediscovering Desire and Reigniting the Spark .
“ Phenomenal sexual practice is n’t just about your human relationship with your partner . It ’s also about your relationship with yourself , ” she said . “ You have to take upkeep of yourself . That might mean making meter for self - care , treat your body aright , sweep over sexual shame or guilt or learning raw skills , like how to orgasm or how to last longer in bottom . ”
4. They laugh in and outside the bedroom.
Sex is n’t always sultry , seductive or spicy . sappy thing befall when two bodies slap against each other , not to mention peculiar noise . When awkward moments uprise , couples with great sex living take it in stride and laugh about it , saidKimberly Resnick Anderson , a sex therapist and an adjunct professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine .
“ Humor is a great aphrodisiac , ” she said . “ Laugh during sex . Couples who can leave stress outdoors of the bedroom and delight sex as a fun , temporary escape from reality are more slaked than those who ca n’t shift gears and hang on to the stress , anger or resentment of daily life . ”
5. Theymasturbateduringsex.
Here ’s a dirty little secret about human relationship sex : Masturbating is much more fun when you ’re not doing it alone . Plus , in the procedure , your spouse gets a captain class on the most dependable ways to please you , saidShannon Chavez , a psychologist and sex healer in Los Angeles .
“ duet that masturbate together quell together , ” she said . “ Showing a partner how you touch your consistency gives them insight into how you desire to experience pleasure . It puts you in control of your own desire and allows your partner to participate in your joy . ”
6. They explore each other’s fantasies.
In the words of sex activity editorialist Dan Savage , the best sex partners are “ good , gift and game . ” In other words , they ’re skilled in seam ( thanks to a destiny of exercise ) , they ’re generous , and they ’re uncoerced to try out whatever their cooperator ’s into , within reason .
The three G ’s are specially important in long - term , attached relationships , in which things can well become stagnant in the sleeping accommodation , say Hirschman .
“ recollective - term couples with hot gender lives roll in the hay that each someone has their own unequaled titillating imagination , ” she sound out . “ They ’ve learned their partner ’s deepest fantasy and desires and are unforced to load outside their comfortableness geographical zone a bit to give their partner what they really , really want in bed . ”
7. They kiss and touch throughout the day, just to show they care.
A playful hint on the butt or kiss before workplace matters more than you think . set up a premium on non - sexy - fourth dimension touch is a great way to remind your partner that you ’re content and still very much appeal to him or her , Chavez said .
“ When you come to each other , you feel more machine-accessible and be intimate toward one another . It show you want to be nigh to a partner , ” she tell . “ In short , citizenry that caress , obtain paw , kiss , massage , rub and stroke each other without the expectation of sex lean to be more relaxed , wake and sensually connect as couples . ”
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