" My friend put us in a horrible post in which I had to run from the pig . I did n’t even recognise I was his getaway driver . Never mouth to him again . "
Friendship breakups are a special kind of heartbreak that people rarely talk about. Of course, romantic breakups can be very upsetting, but friendship breakups are a unique type of betrayal that can be hard to process. They may feel more taboo to discuss or even grieve, but they are shockingly and sadly common.
Reddit userNew_Perspective1201recentlyaskedther/AskRedditcommunity, “What was the final straw that ended a lifelong friendship?” So far, over 8,000 people have responded to reveal the details of their friendship fallouts, breakups, and blowups. Here’s what was shared:
1.“When I was a first-year student in college, I shared a room with my best friend from high school. I kept a diary, wrote in it daily, and hid it in my locked closet. One day, I returned from class to find her reading out loud from my diary to a group of our friends. She had broken into the closet just to get the diary. I haven’t spoken to that bitch in 30+ years.”
— RhodiumPlated
2.“She slept with another friend’s boyfriend and didn’t think it was a big deal because she wasn’t ‘that close’ to the friend anyway. I didn’t even know that other friend or her boyfriend, but her betrayal and nonchalance completely changed how I saw her.”
— demons_soulmate
3.“Kept ‘borrowing money’ from me to ‘feed their kids’ or ‘get their kids medication’ and would say, ‘It’s an emergency!’ And, truly, they were destitute; these instances were plausible. But, one day, after being told one of the kids had been hospitalized and released home, and between the Uber rides to and from the hospital, they didn’t have enough for his meds at the pharmacy, I signed on to Facebook. I saw pictures of them — ‘sick’ kid included — at a block party. It destroyed the friendship for me. For the record, I never expected them to pay back borrowed money for food or medicine. I was happy to help. Those kids were like my kids, too. The betrayal of finding out they didn’t love me like I loved them got to me.”
— LyannasLament
4.“I was in the middle of a divorce and my childhood bestie told me that I was a shit Christian and that I deserved being mentally abused. She spread lies to my family (saying I was on drugs and drinking wildly every night) and made my life much harder during an already difficult time. A few years later, she also got divorced, but it was okay because ‘God wanted her to leave him.’ She has tried to reach out over the years to try to get info on my life, to talk to my parents (we are technically related by marriage), and cause drama. I had to delete all social media to get her to leave me alone.”
— Megnuggets
5.“She told me, ‘What happened to you really wasn’t that bad,’ when I started my recovery from an abusive relationship I was in. Nope.”
— QueenTzahra
6.“I asked her to be my maid of honor at my wedding, but she seemed to be mad at me for getting married. After I sent out invitations, she sent a card that only read, ‘Thanks, but we won’t be attending,’ then eventually unfriended me on Facebook. I was heartbroken, and 13 years later, I still haven’t heard from her — even after I sent her a card I put a lot of thought into after I saw her mother’s obituaries a couple of years ago. I always respected that she was anti-marriage, but obviously she couldn’t get over the fact that I wasn’t.”
— Professional - Chair42
7.“I was diagnosed with cancer a year after moving across the country from my friends from high school. I didn’t ask for them to do anything except play some online games with me while I recovered from surgery. Not one of them did. They were playing other games (I could see in my various friends lists), but none of them would put aside the games they were playing to keep me company and take my mind off things. No texts, no phone calls, nothing. I only asked for time/online company, and they put in zero effort. This was the last straw in a long string of feeling like an afterthought. It’s been nine years, and not a single one of them has even tried to contact me since then. I guess being an ‘afterthought’ was too optimistic, even.”
— bythog
8.“She told me she ‘didn’t have time for my problems’ because she was a mother when I wanted company and support the weekend my service dog was diagnosed with lymphoma. She got angry and ghosted when I said, ‘That’s kinda fucked up. I’ve always supported you.’ This was the third time she’d pulled that shit, so I didn’t reach out when she tried to start texting like nothing happened. I just told her she’d have to schedule a time to talk it out, and she never did. She moved out of state two years later with my godson and didn’t even tell me.”
— AKBearmace
9.“I found out he slept with my high school girlfriend and held that secret for 10 years. He also invited my 13-year-old sister out to drink and party with him and his friends. I drew the line, ended the friendship, and clocked him in the jaw for that one. I didn’t learn he slept with my high school girlfriend until many years after the friendship ended. But that made a lot of things make complete sense. He was always extremely angry and ticked off at me whenever I spent time with her. He was never a friend, really.”
— glebo123
— EFCFrost
11.“He kept having kids with different girls, then bailing on them. I just couldn’t watch it anymore. I left after the third one. Pretty sure he’s at six or seven now.”
— KingGuy420
12.“I overheard her laughing with her family about my ‘fictional tragic backstory.’ It turned out she didn’t believe me about many things I had told her about my life, and she was happy to discuss that fact with people. I had always thought she was one of those fundamentally decent people that you meet so few of. Turns out there are even fewer of them than I thought.”
— Gingerbread_Cat
13.“I had supported her through a terrible breakup and countless other personal tragedies for a decade. She has a wonderful heart but cannot get out of her own way. She’s completely unreceptive to any advice, no matter how gentle. I became worried about her as I noticed her mental health declining, and essentially had a ‘come to Jesus’ with her and two other friends in an incredibly supportive, safe setting. She lashed out at me and said she was sick of my drama and didn’t need me as a friend if I couldn’t support her. I told her if by ‘support,’ she meant ‘watch her spiral into yet another blackhole she’d need help crawling out of,’ then she was right. I said, ‘I am always here to help you, but I can’t watch this and do nothing.’ She never spoke to me again. It broke my heart, but after speaking to another former friend of hers with a similar experience, I realized it’s just her pattern.”
— cheerfulsarcasm
14.“My friend put us in a horrible situation in which I had to run from the cops. I didn’t even know I was his getaway driver. Never spoke to him again.”
— airborne_54
15.“They took an argument we had to the internet. They cropped one sentence of a very long message to make me look like the villain. They also did this the day after I attended my uncle’s funeral.”
— LiveLaughFartLoud
16.“Didn’t attend my wedding because a priest wasn’t doing the ceremony. My wife grew up Jewish, and I grew up Catholic; none of that means anything now. It’s good for us because we don’t need anyone to tell us what we should be doing with our kids. We’re the parents, and we aren’t telling them what to believe (only the facts, theories, etc., not beliefs) before they can learn for themselves.”
— yourmomnme1on1
17.“My best friend/best man at my wedding slept with my married sister on my wedding night. Turns out the full open bar at the reception wasn’t the best idea. After the honeymoon, I learned the whole family knew what had happened that night. I don’t hold a grudge, but things weren’t the same with my friend and me. In honesty, I had a chance to sleep with my friend’s sister years before all that, but I turned her down in respect for my friend, so when that happened, it was especially difficult to swallow.”
— loztriforce
18.“I found out she told her husband she was hanging out with me while she was out cheating on him. I was not aware of the situation. She lost her husband and her friend that day.”
— Evening - Dizzy
19.“She joined a pyramid scheme and tried getting me to join. I kept saying no and attempted to explain that what she was doing was a scam. Anyway, one day she asked if she could come over the following week to hang out, but it was an attempt to trick me into meeting her and her ‘trainer.’ I bailed, and she got mad at me for being rude and an unsupportive friend. I was so furious and haven’t seen her since.”
— LowBrowHighStandards
20.“She started routinely paying rent weeks late. And she blocked me from her social media so she could secretly post about going to concerts and music festivals with her rent money.”
— AmieLucy
21.“He was banging my wife for three years and had the temerity to say that it was my fault.”
— gogozrx
22.“She and I had been friends since the fifth grade (over 30 years). After Trump was elected the first time, she commented on a social media post that she could not understand why minorities and LGBTQ+ people were afraid. I remarked that her lack of empathy made me sad. She blocked me, and we have not spoken since. Good riddance.”
— Dotsmom
23.“She became very insecure and jealous when I got into law school. I came home to visit after my first semester, and we caught up over coffee. From my perspective, I had hardcore imposter syndrome. School was stressful, hard, and scary, but I was learning a lot, challenging myself, and meeting nice people. She started to pull away, was a no-show for phone dates, and generally blew me off. When I finally got a hold of her, she told me, ‘You went off to law school and suddenly thought you were better and smarter than everyone else.’ My jaw was on the floor. That narrative existed nowhere but in her own mind. I told her she was wrong and that her perspective hurt my feelings. She cried and yelled, ‘I know, I’m fucked up about friendships with women.’ That was the last time we ever spoke.”
— JessCeceSchmidtNick
24.“She slept with my husband, then blocked me.”
— broken - thumbs
25.“My best friend of 19 years told me to go talk to a cute guy at a wedding. The guy and I hit it off and started a long-distance relationship. My best friend then gave me the silent treatment for no reason for three weeks, including over my birthday, because I told her that the guy and I were doing really well. She then started talking to me again, but never explained herself, and never apologized for acting like a child. She never said she was happy I was happy in a new relationship; she never showed any support. We started hanging out again, but I kept a safe distance emotionally, because why did she get upset about me starting a relationship with someone that she told me to talk to in the first place?”
" After a year and a half of hanging out again , I rule out that she was still lecture diddly-squat about my kinship behind my back . That was the last straw for me . Blocked her on everything and moved on . I in reality have a circle less strain in my sprightliness since rationalise her off . No longer best champion of 19 years . "
— okitay
26.“She was extremely judgmental for years. After being a pushover for so long, when I finally stood up for myself and told her that I felt hurt by her words, she told me she wasn’t sorry (three times) and used weaponized therapy speak to justify her behavior. I was also going through a breakup, my cat of 10 years died, and I had one of those long colds that wouldn’t go away. After that, I couldn’t talk to her for a while, but when she finally reached out to me again, she asked what she could do to mend this relationship, other than apologizing. Literally all I needed was an apology, and she couldn’t even give me that.”
— squeakanonymouse
27.“She invited me to her birthday party that weekend, so it was a last-minute ask. I told her I couldn’t attend because I already had preset plans for the weekend to see family visiting from out of town, whom I hadn’t seen in years. She got angry and said several mean things, including how much of a bad friend I was for not dropping my plans to go to her birthday party. She was turning 32. We never really talked again. Coincidentally, I was also feeling like garbage that week because little did I know, I was also pregnant and about to undergo some serious morning sickness. Blegh.”
— re3dbks
28.“I was unemployed and trying to save money and just get by daily instead of going out. My friend (who was always supported by her parents) would say things like, ‘We are young. The money will come! You need to just get out!’ When I declined the offers, she replied, ‘I guess our friendship has run its course!’ and never spoke to me again. It was really traumatizing, and I was really hurt, but it’s hard to be friends with someone who doesn’t understand finances.”
— Dapper_Pea_9325
29.And: “Everything was someone else’s fault on both the macro and micro levels. If it was an interpersonal issue, it was never his fault ever. Relationship problems were always his partners at fault, even when the same reasons caused each breakup. Got into a verbal altercation at the bar? Someone else’s fault completely. It was too exhausting.”
— Schwa - Delaware - vivre
Note : Submissions have been edit for duration and/or lucidity .
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
