" If I ’m motor , I never riff off anyone . I just blow a kiss , and that usually pisses them off more . "
Sometimes, we need to find a way to tell someone to go F themselves, but we can’t…say that. So whensomeoneasked, “What is the most polite way to say ‘f*ck you’?” many of the over 5,000 responses were chef’s kiss.
Here are 17 creative alternatives to cursing somebody out that honestly might piss them off even more:
1.“If I’m driving, I never flip off anyone. I just blow a kiss, and that usually pisses them off more.”
2."‘Have the day you deserve.’ This is my favorite thing to say to people at work. I say it all the time. What are you going to do? Complain I said something that could be nice?"
— u / Wise - Lobster-2888
" I just say , ' Have a daylight . ' "
— u / brendamrl
— u / lez566
4.“Just call someone ‘little buddy.’ Like, ‘Okay, little buddy…’ It will erupt a fire in their soul.”
— u / exo - XO
5.“My grandma used to say, ‘Bless your dear heart,’ and I always thought, wow, she’s so nice blessing everyone. Turns out she was just saying ‘f*ck you’ to anyone and everyone. Man, I miss her.”
6.“Starting with, ‘As per my last email,’ CC your manager and your manager’s manager, and end with, ‘Regards.'”
— ethernetpencil
" ' As per my previous email , ' charge the corporate type into conniptions . "
— u / RoyalZeal
" And cast off in an occasional ' Please Advise , ' which is corporate - speak for , ' What the fck are we endeavor to do here dipsht ? ' "
— u / Hour_Insurance_7795
7.“Expect violence from this one: ‘Who hurt you?'”
— u / Mage_Food
8.“When someone hasn’t been helpful, I’ll say, ‘May you encounter people as helpful as you have been.’ As a bonus, it also works to say, ‘You have genuinely been wonderful.'”
— uranium / BaronDoctor
9.“The moment I realize I’m dealing with someone impossible, I stare at their nose or mouth, wait for them to stop talking, and reply with, ‘You have a booger in your nose’ or ‘You have something in your teeth.’ and just immediately walk away. If you have chewing gum on you, you can also plug your nose and quietly offer a piece.”
10.“I’ll say, ‘You are a prime candidate for self-copulation.'”
— u / mike11172
11.“Californian here, this is the way: Only put on a big smile. I learned that lesson when I worked at McDonald’s. It really pisses people off.”
u / Awkward - Isopod-6436
12.“I’ll say, ‘Good luck with that.'”
— u / Adorable - Writing3617
13.“If someone said something inappropriate, the late Queen would say, ‘How amusing for you.'”
14.“I got in trouble in middle school for calling someone ‘an inspiration for birth control’ and suggesting he should be inspired himself, as well.”
— u / InannasPocket
15.“Some Christians say, ‘I’ll pray for you’ when they mean ‘f*ck you.'”
— u / searchlight
16.“According to TV edits for profanity, it’s ‘Forget You!!!'”
17.And lastly, “The garden sign in front of my house says, ‘Have the day you voted for.’ It’s the best.”
— uracil / nitarrific
There you have it, 17 alternatives for telling someone to go f**k themselves. What do you think? Would you use any of these? Or do you have any others?
take down : Some submissions have been edited for distance and/or uncloudedness .
