" I put a photo of my nephew on my desk and acted like he was mine . The supererogatory sick days and leaving early on for daycare whenever work started popping off was an absolute aspiration . "
Many of us have had the misfortune of finding ourselves in a toxic work environment. And while there might be HR (sometimes)and a desire to leave (all the time), your options could be a little bit limited, and it’s time to get…creative.
So when TikTok userlifeandworkbutbetterposted , " Give me your most sick toxic job endurance hacks . I ’m not talking about ' setting boundaries ' or ' documenting everything . ' I mean , the most unhinged , boundary line unethical thing you ’ve ever done to keep your sanity , " the answers came pouringggggggg in .
Here are 21 hacks to help you survive your toxic job:
1.“I keep old photos on my phone of unfortunate things that have happened in my life (swollen face from tooth extraction, car crash, broken arm, etc.,) and I reuse them at new jobs if I want a sick day or something.”
2.“Once, my job made us do ‘productivity’ timesheets, and we all agreed to be maliciously compliant. People were writing, ‘8:01: hung up jacket; 8:05: took out tampon.'”
3.“After they said I did nothing for the company, I shredded all the training manuals I had made on the way out.”
4.“I put a photo of my nephew on my desk and acted like he was mine. The extra sick days and leaving early for daycare whenever work started popping off was an absolute DREAM.”
5.“I was in charge of my company’s TikTok account and changed the algorithm to nothing but videos about toxic bosses and intimidation and bullying in the workplace.”
6.“My granny is suddenly alive again at every new job I start.”
7.“Sending a trivial donation like $5.00 to a TV preacher in your boss’s name will have them getting so much mail…”
8.“I sometimes cooked fish in the microwave. I didn’t even eat it. I just wanted to make the place unbearable.”
9.“I only cry on company time. if I’m going to be miserable, I will be miserable during the hours I am paid. 😚✌️”
10.“I cc’ed my boss on every email. She wanted to micromanage, fine. I hope she enjoyed the dozens of emails she got every day. I’m so glad I finally got out of there.”
11.“YEARS ago, I was pregnant with HORRIBLE sickness and my boss made a stink about me spending time away from my desk. So I just started to throw up in my desk trashcan instead of running to the bathroom.”
12.“I started lying about myself. I would give different people different versions of events about myself, so when someone confronted me about the stories being different, I knew they were talking about me behind my back.”
13.“My company sends us fake emails every now and then to test if we will accurately report spam and phishing emails. So I just report emails I don’t want to deal with as phishing.”
14.“I applied for jobs on the clock. I would book a conference room for a meeting that was actually an interview and use the company Adobe subscription to host my portfolio.”
15.“Always act swamped, even when you’re not. Boomers and elder Gen X bosses areobsessedwith performative busy-ness, and if you make it look easy, they will hate you.”
16.“I removed permissions on Google Docs and Spreadsheets before going on vacation so my coworker couldn’t take credit for my work anymore.”
17.“I inform toxic colleagues that I am recording our conversation for personal records. I just put my phone on the table while taking notes. All of a sudden, the conversation goes very differently.”
18.“Here’s a microaggression toward men: put their name one font size smaller than everyone else’s.”
19.“I asked to take on major projects right before I quit (without notice) and never did any work on them.”
20.“When you’re getting negative feedback, just don’t react. Don’t make any facial expressions. Nothing. It horrifies them.”
21.And lastly, “After they fired me because it ‘wasn’t working out,’ they asked me to train my replacement. I trained them…INCORRECTLY and deleted all the files I ever made to make my job easier. Byeeee.”
notice : Some submission have been edited for distance and/or clearness .
