" Yelling . I detest it when I was a kid and swan I ’d never do it myself . "
Reddit useru/EddieBrock99asked, “What’s a mistake that your parents made in raising you that you find yourself repeating on your child?” and the responses immediately made me realize that, against my better judgment, I’m slowly turning into my mom and dad. Here are some of the best responses:
1.“Taking their bad mood out on me (emotionally, not physically), then feeling guilty and overcompensating by being extra sweet later after calming down. That leads to a disorganizedattachment styleand fear of intimacy. Kids shouldn’t be subjected to such emotional volatility.”
2.“Telling my kid ‘because I said so’ instead of actually explaining things. I hated it as a kid, but now I totally get why my parents did it—sometimes you just don’t have the energy to argue with a 5-year-old.”
— uranium / AdNext5396
3.“Letting ‘five more minutes’ turn into an hour.”
4.“Being too lax on the sense of humor. My daughter was always mature enough to know when and where it was appropriate. My son is going to get in some trouble, and I’m going to have to laugh my ass off while being really mad at him. lol”
— u / Cum_guru4U
5.“Allowing my kids to see some of my anxiety. I try to keep a lid on it because I know the reason I have it is because of how much my mother’s very open anxiety shaped mine, but it slips out here and there (broken glass is a trigger).”
6.“I (35, F) grew up without a mother. She left when I was a toddler and gave up full custody of my dad. I had a series of stepmothers, but they were mostly short-lived and weren’t very kind to me. I now have two daughters, and I try to act like what I imagine a mother should be. My references for behavior are from a mish-mash of friends, moms, and TV/movie characters. I just hope I’m doing well by them.”
— u / bbreland
7.“My dad was a workaholic, and I never got much time to spend with him. I find it hard to spend time with my kids. I’m there physically; it’s just hard emotionally.”
8.“Losing my patience. Honestly, the stress of being a working parent has given me more empathy for my own.”
— u / DaintyBadass
9.“Showing love with food.”
10.“Yelling. I hated it when I was a kid and swore I’d never do it myself.”
— u / Justcallmeaunty
11.“Impatience and anger 😭”
12.“My 3-year-old has started saying ‘Hey!’ To get my attention. I keep replying, ‘Hay is for horses.’ I always promised myself I wouldn’t do that.”
— u / Ok - Masterpiece-4716
13.“Too much screen time… It’s just easy when I need some quiet time or need to get things done without a cling on.”
14.“Not showing genuineemotions/positive reinforcement.”
— u / Cheetodude625
15.“Comparing siblings to each other.”
16.“Being an overly critical perfectionist.”
— atomic number 92 / emryldmyst
17.“Saying no without being able to explain exactly why.”
18.“Trying to be ‘perfect’ instead of just being present. My parents stressed over little things, and now I catch myself doing the same. Learning to let go and enjoy the moment more.”
— u / trevoriffic _
19.“Trusting me sometimes when they shouldn’t have.”
20.“Talking badly about myself in front of my kid. I inadvertently taught my kid to hate himself, too. Recognized it by the time he was 11, but the damage was done.”
— atomic number 92 / chubsmagrubs
21.“Being antisocial with other parents and having it limit my own kids' social circles.”
22.“Avoid talking and confronting complex problems with honesty. Sometimes some issues need to be solved with time, but a good portion of that is understanding where it comes from and confronting the issue.”
NOTE : Some submission have been edited for duration and/or lucidness .
