" I ’m 62 , and I ’m a lifelong single . I watch far too many people get marital or get in human relationship and be piteous , and I agnise that could have been me . "
Warning : This Wiley Post turn back mentions of dependence and abuse .
1.“I never wanted to be married and have children, but I wanted a partner and soulmate. After a long-term relationship ended, I found my soulmate in my 30s. We loved each other for 20 years until his untimely death. I’m fortunate to have had him in my life; he was truly the best person I know. I’m at peace with being unpartnered. No one could replace him. We had built a network of great friends, a network that continues to support me in my widowhood. I am free to live life as I choose and have no desire to be with another man.”
" I do n’t feel exclude by our married friends — far from it . I ’m not treated differently , nor do I feel sticky . undivided or widowed does n’t have in mind alone or lonely . I miss him every day , but I would n’t deal my state of affairs with others who have traditional marriages and children . I have see divorcement , engagement , problems with kid , etc . , and it ’s not for me . I’d rather be moving forwards with my soulmate , but I have no reservations about whatever the respite of my life story has in store : it ’s been a productive and rewarding experience so far . I will hold him tight to me and live life to the fullest until I can see him again . "
— 57 , Anonymous , United States
2.“I’m a lifelong single. It came about after taking to heart some very wise words told to me by an older neighbor while I was young. She said, ‘Pay attention to the mistakes others make because that could be you.’ I remembered that as I went through my life; I watched far too many people get married or enter relationships and be miserable. At 15, I, too, could have gone down that miserable road with a boy, who, to this day, as a man, is still smitten with me, but sadly, his life turned out to be a huge mess.”
" I dedicate my time and money to developing my career and am now reaping the great harvest I planted so many year ago . I live on a animation of contentment and peace just like I planned long ago . "
— Anonymous , 62 , California
3.“I’m almost 63, female, never married, and without children. It does get lonely sometimes, especially since I chose a life/career away from my family. On the other hand, I’ve had the kind of adventures you’d only dream of, I think, if you were the ‘average’ married person with a mortgage and a family to consider. I guess being married, I’d have had to rely on my spouse, whereas I’ve relied on myself, my friends and family, and strangers to help in times of need.”
" I ’ve help hoi polloi and been help by others , so it ’s been an chance to turn as a person . Unless I meet someone who adds to the equation , I ’m glad to be where I am and who I am , exist a life-time prefer by me . "
— Anonymous , 62 , Canada
4.“Most of us are raised to believe that as we age, there are milestones in life that everyone needs to reach — getting married, buying a house, having kids, traveling the world in retirement, etc. Without these, life has no meaning. What a load of crock. I’m glad I can think for myself and didn’t succumb to the pressure to meet societal norms and expectations. In my 20s, this was a tense point with my parents. But as the years passed, they saw that my life was pretty fantastic without a husband and children, so they no longer pressured me into finding someone to settle down with. I have never been big on marriage and having kids. I see those milestones as something severely disadvantageous for women.”
" As a unmarried fair sex , I only want to look after myself . All the money I earn is for me to use whichever path I please . As a matrimonial charwoman , I would have to see after the Thomas Kyd , work , and carry the effect of most of the menage chores . How can anyone cogitate this is a good trade ? It made zero sense to me then ; it still makes zero sense to me now .
My life is as I dictate it to be . I ’m not beholden to anyone for anything . I travel two to three times a class and have a healthy nest egg for my retirement . I have meter for my originative hobby outside work and sustain my nieces ' creative stake . I doubt many people can say they are as necessitate in their nieces ' and nephew ' lives as I am .
All I hear my married friends talk about are problems with their husbands , problem that their kids are facing , problems with finances , how tired they are , etc . All these trouble are only experienced by citizenry who are married with children .
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Why would anyone call back being individual is a risky thing ? I ’m so much happier on my own , without all those problem weighing me down . Don’t be enslaved by guild ’s tale . History has show that smart set does n’t have women ’s best interestingness at heart . see out what you want from your life , and have the bravery to pursue and own it . Anything else is just ludicrous . "
— Anonymous , 45 , Australia
5.“I just figured it would happen. I did everything I was supposed to do. I was a ‘good’ girl; I went to college and graduated, went to church, worked in the community, and talked about sports and cars — you name it. I always sought to encourage others, but eventually, I saw everyone else getting married and having children. Still, I thought, my time will come. Now, at 52, I’m finally in a real relationship for the first time in my life, but I wonder: Why is it so hard? Is it because I followed what I thought was the right path first instead of just living life?”
" I tell people to never give up . You deserve to be loved because you have value and deserving . Don’t grant anyone to make you not feel pretty , for example , simply because you do n’t look the way they desire you to look . Your best bet is to move forward and know that one that God has for you is for you and will come your path when you are both ready to love . "
— Anonymous , 52 , Maryland
6.“Being a single, childless middle-aged woman is amazing. Aside from all the obvious stuff about how 95% of hetro relationships involve the woman doing the majority of the domestic and emotional labor, and how demeaning and exhausting that is, casual dating is so much fun at this age. Once I realised that I didn’t actually want commitment or monogamy, it’s been wild! Seems there are a lot of (hot, younger) men who want open/casual connections and much fewer women who want the same. Ladies, it’s a buyer’s market out there! I have never felt so desired.”
" I ’d also be very curious about seeing the gender of those who enjoy single life and those who are solitary — cleaning lady tend to be much better at developing and maintaining near friendship and residential district intimacy , and hence tend to be happier single . "
7.“I have two children, but I never married. I had opportunities to be married, but they were not right for me or the life I wanted. I wanted peace, and in my youth, I dealt with a lot of partners who were addicted to alcohol, even though I did not imbibe. Since I had children to consider and their well-being took priority, finding love was not always the priority. I realized that I had a lot of trauma from childhood and adult sexual abuse that had its origins from a family member who was addicted to alcohol and sexually molested me as a child. I kept choosing partners who would drink, abuse me, and not treat me well. For a very long time, I believed the myth that I deserved my single status because I kept getting hurt and would never be chosen. I believed I would be lonely, not desirable, and not worthy in middle age because I still came from an era that told women they should have partners by a certain time in their lives.”
" I believed that after 40 , I should give up on the idea of wedding to someone I love . The truth is that it ’s better to be solitary than with someone who will suffer you . It ’s good to feel worthy internally than see to someone else to make me feel better . I still work on making peace with my difficult past . I kept myself in good figure , long ago give up vices that would age me quicker , such as smoking , fatty foods , and sugary drink . human race still find me attractive , now more than ever in my heyday of physical flower , because I do not accommodate a stereotyped middle - ripened woman ’s look .
It ’s still not easygoing being single , and I still have the hope that I will one day feel a compatible partner with whom I have bass mutual love . However , I no longer interest as much about not find someone . It will either happen … or it won’t . The myth that my lifetime would somehow be concluded by ingest a partner , when I see so many women who have been married more than once and still terminate up single … I nullify such mistakes , knowing I could never just ' settle . ' Hope for finding a good partner does n’t go out , but it ’s no longer at the vanguard of my mind . Even if married couple has alluded me , I can still have a meaningful life . "
— Anonymous , 45 , Virginia
8.“I thought being single as a woman meant being unpicked and therefore unworthy. Actually, there’s a line of suitors out the door, just none to my standards and liking. Being single really means being free to live exactly as you wish.”
— Anonymous , 41 , USA
9.“Growing up as a little girl, I never thought about getting married. It never crossed my mind. My parents had such a tumultuous and dysfunctional marriage that I never dreamed of it for myself. I dated in my early years, 20s to 40s, but I always ended up with the wrong type of guy. After a certain point in my 40s, the dates became few to none. Friends and family started hinting that maybe I was gay, which was far from the truth, to saying maybe I was called to be single all my life — the gift of singleness. I guess I sabotaged my relationships by being fearful of ending up like my parents. At this late stage in life, I now long to be in a healthy, loving relationship that leads to marriage.”
" Even this previous in spirit , I still am hopeful that there is someone for me , even though I have never live with someone or will have to compromise on decisions , and work out the logistics of monetary resource , property , etc . I have latterly seen floor of women who married for the first time after 50 and 60 . I am still hopeful . "
— Anonymous , 64 , Texas
10.“I am 61 and have never been married or had children. I have been in several long-term relationships and engaged several times, but…well, it’s tough to explain why I never married anyone because each relationship ended for a different reason. One thing that bothers me is that now, when I start seeing someone new, I get from friends and family that, ‘Ah, jeez. Here she goes again.’ But I choose to think of it as, ‘Isn’t it a good thing that I can go through so many breakups and dating relationships and still be optimistic that I’ll meet someone who matches?'”
" I do admit , though , that I ’m losing a little steam late because I ’ve noticed a pattern as we age : people become raging . man specially . And it ’s not about getting ' set in their ways ' — just generally … angry . My older exclusive distaff Friend are really happy , inspired hoi polloi . Men … not so much . There ’s choler and just being skeevy ; I see it a lot . So , yes , I ’m get a picayune hackneyed , but I will continue to detain open to people . People are always interesting ! I guess we ’ll see … "
— Anonymous , 61 , New York
11.“A myth is that there must be something inherently wrong with me or that my health problems would make me a burden on any prospective husband. This may be true in ways, but I’ve learnt that I can look after myself better than anyone else, and having a man and kids in my life is not the key to happiness. Self-acceptance and self-compassion are important. I have much more free time and can channel all my energy into my art instead of a marriage.”
— Anonymous , UK
12.“I’ve had one long-term relationship and got a great daughter out of it. I haven’t needed to get into another relationship since it ended nine years ago. I’m not totally against the idea of another relationship, but he’d have to be pretty damn amazing to give up my independence and freedom.”
— lanamarie
13.“I’m not married, but I’ve certainly been asked to marry several times. I decided that I didn’t want to be a rich person’s appendage waiting for him to come home when I spent seven years in medical school to graduate as a physical therapist. Lately, someone asked me to move in with him. I said no; my house is nicer than his lol. I have liked to photograph since childhood, and my pals are all unmarried and happier. I get to travel alone in my ancient VW camper with my analog equipment and meet the best people on the road. Women say I am ‘strong,’ and men love my camper because it harkens to simpler times. They’re not happy with their huge rigs. I get more honest conversations on the road than I get from people mired in unhappy relationships.”
" I get to dictate when and where I want to go every mean solar day . It ’s true — I have to do all the hard workplace in get by my belongings and stress over money when things hap , but I would n’t have it any other way . People call me ' too autonomous ' because they are jealous . permit it be . "
— Anonymous , 76
14.“I never married. I didn’t date much; I’m an extreme introvert. My aunts used to ask when I was going to get married. I always said, ‘When I find someone worth giving up my freedom for.’ Never found him; don’t care!”
— Anonymous , 68 , Indiana
15.“People think we’ve all been ‘sewing wild oats’ all these years. I’ve had boyfriends over the years, but I’m abstinent. I want to be married, but I just haven’t found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with — and I’m not at all interested in hookup culture and sleeping around. Also, we’re not miserable and waiting to live life. I work, go out with friends, travel, own homes, volunteer, socialize, and have plenty of hobbies and responsibilities to stay busy!”
— Anonymous , 43 , Maryland
16.“I am older, and after failed relationships for many reasons, I’ve decided that it’s ‘me time’ about 10 years ago. I can do what I want, eat what I want, and my friends and I see one another regularly and talk daily in a group chat. I do have children, but they are adults and on their own. I enjoy the peace and quiet of reading a book, watching a good movie, cooking a good meal, or just going for a walk. Life as an older, unmarried single is nice. I don’t mind it at all.”
" My shaver help me if I want them to hook intemperate things or whatever . If they ’re unavailable , I can hire someone to do it for me . I revel lawn cutting and snow shoveling , but if I did n’t , again , there are people who will do it for you . life history is about being happy , and I am now as glad as I ’ve ever been . "
— Anonymous , 66 , Wisconsin
And finally…
17.“I’ve never had a really serious relationship. As I am now 62 and semi-retired, I feel adrift and try to maintain old friendships and establish new ones. I adopt all my friends’ kids and adore my nieces, nephews, and greats to bits! It’s always about finding a good balance between social activities, exercise, and professional work, and I’m not well balanced right now. I had always hoped that I could find a nice guy who wanted to go 50-50, encouraging and respecting each other’s growth. From what I have witnessed from my married friends, maybe that’s a myth? Many of my dates want a woman to own and care for them, be second in their career, and meet their needs. Why does a woman need to give up her career dreams? To put herself in some ideal, fantasy wife mold.”
" I have always found it sorry thinking of how many char choke themselves to be get married — how much talent has been lost in adapting to society ’s moulding . All the brilliant women scientist , artists , musicians , etc , who never got a dig because of their gender ! So sad . While things have changed somewhat , when you reach the eminent echelons of your professing , the patriarchy holds you back and makes it difficult . I just always thought I would encounter someone and work together for each other and be just ego . Truth is , calling your own shots is adorable at time … but it is lonely and unmanageable . "
Note : Some response have been edit for length and/or clarity .
