" We had our ' 103rd ' anniversary a few Clarence Day ago … She preserve all the cards , and I will go on to do this forever . "
As we all know, marriage takes WORK, and the saying “happy spouse, happy house” just doesn’t cut it. However, with so much advice out there, it can be challenging to decipher what will make life easier for you and your partner. Luckily, through the years, one picks up a few hacks or “cheat codes” that improve their marriage…
1.“If your wife asks if you want ice cream, she wants ice cream. Feel free to replace ‘ice cream’ with anything she might want.”
2.“When my wife gets home and wants to talk about work or a friend, I ask ‘support or suggestion?’ It changed my life.”
" My wife ' de - stresses ' after work by talking about her day . When we were date , my impulse was to ' work out ' whatever problem she had , which was n’t what she wanted .
long time together and many arguments afterward , we ’ve learned to call for what the other needs , and we get it on each other , so we ’re glad to provide it . "
— u / glennis_the_menace
3.“Keep a note on your phone for gift ideas. When she points out something she likes or wants to do, write it down in the note or snap a pic and insert it. See something you think she’d like? Write it down. Also, keep her clothing and shoe sizes in the note.”
— u / vfettke
" Agreed ! I have a ' favorites list ' I keep on my headphone . I contribute to it whenever she sound out something is her favourite , freehanded or lowly — favorite deep brown , flower , goody , restaurant orders , etc . I can commemorate her plebeian likes , but it ’s nice to be capable to find fault something random and know she will like it . "
— u / donkeydream
4.“Verbally acknowledge each other’s contributions to the household.”
5.“If I think my wife is feeling down or we’re not connecting emotionally, I will ask her about something she is passionate about and get her talking. I ask questions that cannot be answered with a yes or no, and she will go from sitting back with her arms folded to leaning forward and talking excitedly.”
" Often , the great unwashed feel closer to someone simply by mouth and being learn . Everyone feels upright while talking about their favorite things . "
— u / mostlycareful
6.“During pregnancy and the first few months after childbirth, I always hear men say, ‘There isn’t much for me to do with the kid, it’s all her.’ Here’s my ‘cheat code’: SHE is your responsibility during that time.”
" Every time her belly itches , YOU put app on her , YOU get up and get her snack , YOU rub her animal foot , YOU lift her belly to release air pressure on her back , YOU buy her comfortable clothes . Of of course , after the infant is born , she has to wake up and breastfeed , but YOU burp the baby . Always change diapers when you may .
I did all this while on active duty in the military , so it get me up a wall when father and husbands make the excuse that they have to ' work ' so they ca n’t help out . Be an active parent and an active mate . Genuinely caring IS attractive . "
— u / TheAlwaysLateWizard
7.“Do not take complaints about your partner outside of the marriage to vent or gossip. I’m not talking about enabling abusive isolation. I’m talking the natural longing to vent about the stress and annoyance of daily living with your spouse.”
8.“If you wake up and feel grumpy, warn your partner. Tell them you are feeling short-tempered and irritable, but it has nothing to do with them. It helps!”
— u / riskeverything
9.“Any issue we have is ‘caused’ by our old roommate. Before we decided to have kids, we rented a room in our house to a friend, whom we’ll call ‘Henry.’ He was a cool dude, but a crappy roommate.”
" Henry ’s long go bad now , but we still blame affair on him like , ' Henry say he was going to cut down the lawn ' or ' Henry leave behind bum all over the counter again . ' My personal favorite is ' I really like Henry would stop leaving his makeup all over the lavatory counter . '
We express joy about it , and then no one feels called out . It works like a charm for us . "
— u / Snoo-57685
10.“If your partner has periods, install a period tracking app. It helps you know what to expect and what’s going on with their mood.”
11.“Tackle household chores like you live alone. I started this and have noticed that everyone is happier and tidying up takes less time. If a few dishes are in the sink, put them in the dishwasher. If there’s stuff on your partner’s nightstand that doesn’t belong, put it away, etc.”
— u / rippedhands
" This is SO important . Many manpower were never condition to have these habits in the first place , and they ’re SO much harder to pick up as adults . My mother - in - law is generally adorable and has been nothing but kind to me , which is the only matter that ’s stopped me from involve her , ' Why did n’t you instruct your son to clean up a little ? ' It ’s like live with a giant puppy who can cook . "
— uranium / SnittingNexttoBorpo
12.“My father is incredibly forgetful and always has been, so he keeps a small stash of gifts for my mother in case he forgets an anniversary or other occasion. They’re all nonperishable items she collects or something that relates to one of her interests.”
" If she sees something she likes when they ’re out , he ’ll sneak and buy it for his present stash . It has saved him on numerous occasion . "
— atomic number 92 / keyholes
13.“My husband and I start every day with a long hug. It seemed like a big task at first, but we now go in for those hugs multiple times daily, which has helped me through some rough patches. My son has watched it numerous times, and now tries to join.”
14.“Separate blankets: We’ve been married for 13 years, together for 17, and we learned that sharing a blanket is an exercise in futility.”
— u / Robz_princess
" Yes ! Having your own blanket is a game - auto-changer . Get two meet duvet covers ; then , you’re able to pick out your own cover ! No combat about who is a blanket hog or one soul think a blanket is too thick / thin .
We ’ve done this our whole relationship , and I swear by it ! "
— u / CopperMeerkat20
15.“Early on, I discovered something that works wonders: The first month after we kissed, I bought her a few small gifts and made a card for our one-month ‘anniversary.’ She thought it was cheesy but sweet, so I’ve continued to do the same thing every month since.”
16.“When that little voice in your head says ‘Don’t say it,’ just DON’T say it. Example: Don’t ask any questions about how dinner is being prepared. Be delighted someone is making you dinner.”
— atomic number 92 / Initial_Helicopter87
" I think it depends on the context of the ' Do n’t say it ' in your head . I ’ve had that issue with my relationship , where I do n’t want to talk about something because it could hurt my collaborator ’s tone .
But you have to put across and find root together . You have to work through your problem , not keep them to yourself . Otherwise , they will maturate until you are at a breaking item . "
— u / DimensionFast5180
17.“I’m not sure if these are ‘cheat codes’ or just things I learned over 40+ years of marriage, but here goes…”
notice : Some responses have been edited for length and/or lucidity .
