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They say youth is wasted on the young, and the older you get, the more the phrase rings true. There are many truths that are hard to recognize until you’ve had more life experiences. So older people spoke up about the insights they wish they had discovered earlier in life. Here are some of thelife lessonspeoplelearnedtoo late— the realizations they’d love to go back in time and tell their younger selves.
1.“People will come and go in your life, and that’s perfectly ok. Not everyone in your life will be there for the rest of your life. It’s not about how long your friendships last, it’s about what you learn from each one you have.”
2.“Don’t believe everything you see on social media. The professional pic of the seemingly happy, beautiful couple with two amazing careers and a baby on the way, who always post about how perfect their life is? It’s all just a show. I now only follow family and really close friends, and rarely go on it, and it’s so much better.”
3.“Be comfortable changing your mind. Let your opinions shift. People say we get more conservative with age, but that’s not true. I let beliefs go more easily now. I don’t blindly hang on to my opinions, no matter what others believe. No one will have beliefs that line up exactly with yours, and that’s a good thing. You can and should talk to absolutely anyone, no matter their views. Don’t be stubborn, it’s limiting. Let your thoughts evolve.”
— aseverson2
4.“You’re not supposed to do life all on your own. Asking for help not only broadens your world, but it also broadens the world of your helper. It is the number one best skill I’ve ever learned.”
5.“Don’t listen to any self-righteous busybody who shames you for your desire to have kids or not have kids, or get married or not get married. And be prepared for the possibility that no matter what you choose when you are younger, it may or may not be what you wish you had chosen in hindsight when you are older. Everyone wonders about the road less traveled, and life teaches all sorts of unanticipated lessons.”
6.“Ladies, raise your standards. I say this as a middle-aged woman who has made many mistakes in her past partners, and I just want so much more for my fellow women because you deserve it.”
— jengog
7.“My advice would be not to care if you don’t ever get married. I was married once…to a horrible man. I am now with a wonderful man to whom I may or may not get married. But solitude is so wonderful, too. I love it. Get married only if you want to and can see yourself with that person forever. Otherwise, treasure your independence.”
8.“I’ve realized that saying ‘sorry’ means nothing, it’s what you do to try and make things right that counts. Words are free, but actions and real change take thought and effort.”
— c449114c2a
9.“Don’t take your health for granted. Even if you take very good care of yourself, you can be in an accident or may develop a chronic illness. And even with the best of treatment, you may need help and support to manage your life. So my advice is to build a solid support system of family, friends, and/or neighbors. Even if you just break your leg, you’re going to need people in your life who will be there when you need them, and help those people when you can as well.”
10.“You don’t always have to be the best. It took me until my 50s to realize I could enjoy activities I’m not good at. When I was young, I quit everything because I wasn’t the best the first time I tried something. If there is something of particular interest to me, I practice to get better, but less important things I don’t bother, but still enjoy them, mostly because I’m doing them with people I care about.”
12.“Treasure your people and special moments because they’re not going to always be there. This was my best friend’s and my philosophy; we would always say it. When we were having our different adventures. There are so many dear friends now long gone, but I can say I treasured them.”
13.“Laugh. A lot. You have to make a decision to go through your life and pick how you are going to process the things that happen to you. You can let little things affect you negatively, or just laugh at the randomness of the things the universe throws at you. Spilled your coffee? Gripe and bitch about it and let it affect your mood all day? Or laugh because the spill looks like Africa, or you laugh because, of course, you spilled your coffee. Pour yourself another cup, wipe up the mess, and move on. Save the dread and gloom for the things that really matter.”
14.“Trying to be good enough for people who will never be satisfied will age you more than a lifetime of drinking, smoking, and tanning.”
— CourtesyFlush
15.“My late grandmother told us when she turned 80 that when she was a kid, she knew everything. Then she grew into an adult and realized there was a whole bunch of stuff she didn’t know anything about, but she still knew a lot. Now, at 80, she realized the only thing she really knew was how little she knew. I’ve thought about that quite a bit. Even though it may not be the most revolutionary thing to say, I find some comfort in it as it says it’s okay to have limitations. We will never understand it all. And even in fields where you are really an expert, there is still too much to understand for you to understand it all. And that is comforting, I think.”
16.“Before you leave the house or hang up the phone, always say ‘I love you.’ You never know if you’ll get the chance to say it again.”
17.“If it won’t matter in five years, don’t spend five minutes thinking about it is just about the best advice I’ve ever heard.”
— pjoc
18.“Travel just for the sake of it isn’t necessarily worth it. Go and visit places for a reason, sure, but not all places are worth visiting. Some are a complete waste of time and money.”
19.“I know body positivity is more valued today, but so many of us still struggle with accepting our bodies. We all have different genetics, lifestyles, etc. 180 pounds on one person is going to look different on another person of the same age, height, build, etc. Don’t dwell on preconceptions of how your body ‘should’ look: eat healthy, be active, sleep well, drink lots of water, take care of your mental health, get regular checkups, and however your body manifests in those conditions is your ideal shape. Embrace it and enjoy your life. It’s too short to waste time on things you can’t change.”
20.“Trust the timing of your life. Not everyone will or should follow the same timelines for careers, children, marriage, and that’s fine.”
21.“Stop caring so much about your appearance. I sometimes say this out loud to myself, even around other people (jokingly, but it’s true!). In a group picture, NO ONE cares that my thighs are a bit chubby right now or that my hair is wind-blown or whatever. Seriously, everyone is looking at themselves. I refused to get in so many pictures when I was younger because I thought I looked ‘fat’ or whatever, and in some cases, those people are no longer here, or a moment I’d love to pass on to those who weren’t there wasn’t captured. Smile big when you can, be kind to others—people remember that so much more than what size you wore or other material things.”
22.“Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t go to for advice.”
— sparklyshark64
23.“One thing I cannot stress enough is leaving your hometown for a solid couple of years or so. I realize this isn’t feasible for everyone, but the point is to get out of the bubble of your upbringing and into new environments with new people. It changed me for the better. Not all of it was pleasant, but God, what an incredibly crucial part of my personal growth. I think it’s detrimental to society as a whole when people can’t or won’t get out of their bubble.”
