" citizenry who always send about their partner . It ’s not amorous , it ’s performative . Real love does n’t need a Porto Rico drive . "
Recently, Redditoru/Affectionate_Sand190asked those in the Reddit community to share the red flags people stillweirdly romanticize, and some of these are way too real. Here are the tropes, actions, and mindsets that people think are quite toxic:
1.“The idea of someone cheating on their spouse to pursue you. How is that romantic? Please be serious.”
2.“The ‘I’m just a girl’ trend and other TikTok trends that are used to deflect any accountability or responsibility as an adult human being.”
— ivwng
3.“Honestly, I think we conflate hard work with unhealthy boundaries between the self and career, and we romanticize working overtime, long shifts, and doing excessive tasks as a display of personal growth. We’ve manipulated ourselves into feeling that giving our time to pursue our work is noble. I’m saying this as a student in medicine, where hours are absolutely wild. I know I’ll work my hardest, but I won’t sacrifice my sense of self and my time to eke out my own passions and life just to get ahead in my career track. At least, I hope I don’t lose sight of myself in the pursuit of following my dreams. I can be really hard not to notice that that’s where you’re headed until you’ve already sacrificed so much.”
4.“Not being confrontational. Needless confrontation is bad, but sometimes, you do need to confront someone.”
— Open_Today_6267
5.“I knew a girl whose boyfriend went everywhere with her. He wouldn’t let her go anywhere if he weren’t there, and she thought it was cute how ‘possessive’ he was over her. It thoroughly icked me out when she told me. Like, that is not healthy at all.”
6.“Being a ‘free spirit.’ Like, there’s a gray area, but there’s a time and place to be inhibited and misbehave. Not following rules in public settings because you’re ‘free’ gets old really fast.”
— Something_or - Other
7.“Being the charismatic ‘heavy drinker’ in friend groups. Goes for men and women.”
8.“Having someone who is completely obsessed with you.”
— Civil - Shame-2399
9.“Pressuring someone to hurry up and put a ring on it.”
10.“When people say things like, ‘He’s just broken,’ as if it’s something romantic. Having pain doesn’t justify cruelty, and loving someone shouldn’t mean bleeding just to make them feel whole.”
— Zealousideal - Tell839
11.“People who brag about not being interested in reading or learning. Here in the US, there is a huge anti-curiosity or anti-intellect movement, and people will literally brag about being ignorant.”
12.“Being overcontrolling. My coworker thinks it’s adorable when they say stuff like, ‘My husband would kill me if I got atattoothere!’ Gross. Sorry that your husband is so fragile.”
— imsadandthatsrad
13.“Fighting all the time. No, it doesn’t mean that your relationship is ‘passionate.’ It means that you’re probably incompatible and shouldn’t be together.”
14.“Enemies to lovers. It’s cute in theory, but how can you be with someone when you know all the disgusting things they’ve said about you before your relationship?”
— sinewy - Row-1183
15.“People who constantly post about their partner. It’s not romantic, it’s performative. Real love doesn’t need a PR campaign.”
16."‘Traditional values.'"
— Netcooler
17.“The idea that playing games or being ‘hard to get’ in a cruel way will make their crush or interest want them more.”
18.“I used to love the ‘asshole-to-everyone-except-you’ trope until he started being an asshole to my friends. Some tropes are meant to stay fictional.”
— Goldenwolf _
19.Lastly: “Sacrificing your professional or personal life to pursue someone.”
Note : Some submission have been blue-pencil for distance and/or lucidity .
