" The paramedic , who had seemed quite calm until now , leap into frantic military action . "
If you’ve ever worked as a bartender, then you’ve probably dealt with a lot of wild sh*t. So when Reddit userSheZowRaisedByWolvesasked: “Bartenders of Reddit, what is the most outrageous thing you’ve seen during your shift?” I thought it would be interesting to share some of these stories:
1.“I was managing an upscale Italian restaurant in a fancy San Francisco neighborhood during COVID. I walk outside to our patio and notice a patron reaching over the divide, trying to hand something to the couple sitting in the next booth. I speed walk over and notice that this man’s pants are down to his knees (??), and the man in the next booth is yelling that he’s trying to hand them drugs (??). So I find myself telling this pantsless man, ‘Let’s put on our pants and keep our drugs to ourselves,’ which was a sentence I never thought I’d be uttering. COVID was truly wild times.”
2.“For context: I’m missing the majority of my fingers due to a congenital defect, and it was my first month working as a bartender when I had this convo with a very drunk lady. Me: at the bar, pouring drinks. Lady: ‘Hey, I have a question I can’t stop thinking about.’ Me: ‘Sure, go ahead.’ Lady: ‘Are you a lesbian?’ Me: ‘Nope.’ Lady: ‘Thank god because you don’t have fingers.’ Lmaooooo, I’ve never laughed so hard in my life, and my coworker was in tears too. It’s been nearly five years, and I still think about this. Best part was is this was only at about 1 p.m. — gotta love bottomless brunch.”
— 247mumbles
3.“I found out that all the liquor was bootlegged and just dumped into bottles with brand names. Nobody restocked except for the boss.”
4.“It’s been a few years since I bartended, but we had to kick a guy out once, and he came back like half an hour later and punched through the WIRE REINFORCED GLASS in the front door. Tore his hand and wrist to shit; he wound up waiting on the curb for both police and ambulance to arrive. A 24-hour emergency glass repair company had the window replaced by the time we closed.”
— DeedeeScosco
5.“My mom was a bartender, and she told me a few stories from it. 1: She went to break up a fight between two biker groups, and she ended up getting flipped/thrown, and her leg got caught in a ceiling fan. She broke her leg, but stopped the fight.”
6.“Early 2000s cattleman’s convention at a resort. 6’6” easily 300lb cowboy drinking for several hours. Knocked over a table and a waitress. Staggered up to the bar wanting more pitchers of beer. Cut him off and attempted to give him anything else, like soda, juice, or coffee. Cowboy becomes irate, his buddies egging him on. Explain to him that I could lose my liquor license and the bar’s as well. He grabs me by the throat and pulls me over the bar, yelling, ‘I don’t need some punk telling me how much I can or can’t drink!’, while doing his best ‘Homer Simpson choking out Bart.’ Security steps in, and it takes six of them to take him down. The manager comes by to ask what happened. I told him, and he yells at me because ‘They’re here for a convention! If they don’t spend money here, they’ll just go somewhere else!’ I was ready to quit. I had a mark of his handprint around my throat for three days. Never saw them again.”
— thebadhedgehog5
7.“We had a guy who was a puker. One night, at last call, he pounded a beer so he could get one more, but immediately after pounding it, he puked it back up into the pint glass. Being wasted, he wanted another one and re-pounded his puke/beer. Puker was a friend of a friend. He and my friend were in the same frat, and he told me a story of his legendary puking. One night, while playingEdward Fortyhands, he finished one of his beers and had to puke. Instead of puking on the floor, he put the empty bottle up to his mouth and puked back into it. He swore to God that he didn’t spill a drop.”
8.“Old man fights! Torn between the 75-year-old vs the 60-year-old with half a foot or the same 75-year-old choking out an 80-year-old cartoon style.”
— Mammoth_Geologist917
9.“A bachelor party. One of the entertainers had a disturbing and impressive party trick involving ping pong balls. Stopped booking bachelor parties after that one.”
10.“My boss emptied all the drip trays into a jug at the end of the night and drank it.”
— Unique - Employ-577
11.“I worked at a club/pub in London back in like 2004. This pub was famous for being the birthplace of Drum and Bass music (although that was very much disputed). Every Friday or Saturday night, there would be a team of about 10 bouncers, and they were absolutely needed. One night, about 20 coked-up lads were denied entry, and a mass brawl ensued between them and the bouncers. I was working behind the bar. After the brawl was over (the bouncers maintained their unbeaten record, of course), one of the bouncers casually sauntered over to the bar, slowly sat down, and calmly said in a thick Jamaican accent, ‘Give me a brandy, I’ve just been stabbed.’
12.“A fight started between two drunks outside my bar. Smaller guy runs back into the joint while I’m collecting empties, shouting that ‘he’s got a gun.’ Dummy me stands in front of a glass door to lock it, while the dude runs up to the door with a gun in his hand. I’m looking straight at him. A woman at the bar I was flirting with shouts at me, ‘What the hell are you doing?’ And I thought, ‘Wait, what?’ And jumped out of the way.”
— 720hp
13.“I worked at an outdoor bar at the beach. Local crowd, live music most nights, dance floor, it was a fun spot. One night, a woman, in her mid-thirties if I had to guess, was out with coworkers and had been pounding tequila shots. A song came on and she said, ‘Oh, I love this song!’ and got up to dance. While dancing, she had the liquid courage to attempt a backflip for some reason, but landed on her head and started screaming/writhing in agony. I had to call an ambulance, and as far as I know, she ended up fine. The part I remember most was one of her friends consoling her on the ground and going, ‘You’re okay! You always crush the backflip, you must have slipped.'”
14.“Seen a woman who was on her ‘time of the month’ literally stand up, take off her pad, sit down, and bleed onto the chair, trailing it through the floor. We had to close a 24-hour bar for two days for hazmat cleaning (I work in a Vegas casino).”
— idjsonik
15.“Saw a guy pouring his freshly served beer into his shoe and chucking it before putting the loafer back on his foot. Still really confused about that.”
16.“I work at a lovely cocktail bar, and we had a private hire. At the end of the night, we found a lobster in one of the urinals. Keep in mind, we don’t serve food, only small snacks. So no one had any idea how it got in there.”
— four - eyes53
Note : Some responses have been edited for distance and/or clarity .
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
