" They had a whole - a * * witch hunt trying to figure out who did it . "
Being secretive is something some of us do, whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Yet, sometimes, we hold on to a secret so massive, it needs to eventually come out, right? Well, a Reddit userasked: “What’s you’re dirty little secret that you’ve been keeping for a long time and you can share anonymously now?” and a lot of people openly shared their secrets. Here’s what they said below.
1.“Once upon a time, the company I worked for gave me a $500 gift credit card. It kept allowing me to purchase items with it even once it was over its $500 limit. I ended up spending $8000 on it before I cut it up. Nothing else ever came of it.”
2.“I was the one who wrote the dirty word on the mirror in high school. They had a whole-ass witch hunt trying to figure out who did it. The teachers threatened people, they questioned us, and they went through our bags to find the offending lipstick. It was me the whole time.”
— will_write_for_tacos
" In tertiary grade , my friends and I used to play rag in the bathroom . We ’d tolerate on toilet seats and record hop over the stalls . It was the first year the school was open , so the bathroom was spic-and-span . Someone found footmark on the toilet seats , and they made an announcement about it , and that the kid , if catch , would digest massive consequences . I ’m 37 now , and it ’s the first time I ’ve talked about it . "
— Big_Neighborhood_690
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
3.“I didn’t cheat on my ex, I just let her believe it so she would get out of my life quicker and take her scummy circle of friends with her.”
4.“I think this counts as dirty. I wrote an anonymous letter to my math teacher in Year 9 (when I was 14/15 for Americans), asking him to please shower more often and wear deodorant because his B.O. was so horrific. I tried to word it as nicely as possible, and I felt ashamed for years because maybe he was struggling outside of work, but he never brushed his teeth, wore the same clothes for days on end, and absolutely stank. The sweat stains were horrific. You knew it was the same shirt because the stains got bigger throughout the week and were crusty.”
" We would be tearing up from the smell . To the point , some of the scholar would have to leave the room because we thought we ’d be grim . It was get to the distributor point where I was starting to fail maths and needed a tutor because I could n’t contract in lessons and was skim class to avoid him . I ca n’t consider the faculty never approached him about his hygiene , it was honestly horrific and the worst I have ever come up across .
He did take the feedback on table because he started shower and wear off deodorant , start out changing his apparel , and stopped smelling so badly . mayhap he was depressed and could n’t tell how bad it was . I honestly felt like a terrible person for spell that letter and leaving it under his threshold , but something had to be done because it was intolerable . I still feel like a horrible soul year later , nearly 20 years later . So much guilty conscience , but how unsound that a student had to do that to try and make a change ? Am I a bad person ? "
— Literary_Lady
" You belike saved his career . In the short term , he would have felt hurt , but I ’m sure he ’s unbelievably grateful to you now . "
— Accomplished - Brick54
5.“This girl bullied the hell out of me at school, so I stole her phone and flushed it down the toilet. This was pre-iPhone era.”
6.“I was the girl who was having sex with a guy on the theatre stage back in high school. The lights were very dim, so you couldn’t make out our faces. The theatre director walked in, saw us, and we ran off. He then gave us all a lecture in class. Didn’t ask the perps to come forward, but to just never do it again. That news spread around the school like wildfire, and surprisingly, the guy never bragged to any of his friends. I certainly never told anyone. No one ever found out it was us.”
— TheSluttySecretary
7.“I don’t have toes, I have tingers: Long-ass toes that look like I could swoop down and pick up my dinner.”
8.“I had just been promoted to assistant manager at my old job. A little while later, the store manager and I received a bonus due to our store exceeding its targets, but none of the other staff did. I convinced him that it was because of the other staff that we even received the bonus, and that we should each take some of it to give to them. So we pooled together some of our bonuses and bought store gift cards for them to make it look like it came from the company. It was the first time any of them received anything for their hard work, and they were so happy when we gave them out (they each got little thank you cards, too). Not really a dirty secret, but we did it every year from that point on, we never told them that it was from us, and I’m proud of it. Also, that company treated their employees like shit; fuck that place.”
— TheShadyMoose
9.“My house was in foreclosure when COVID hit. The only thing that saved me was that they pretty much made foreclosures illegal. Since I work at a grocery store, I was able to work a ton of hours and get caught up; there was nothing else to do. It totally turned my life around. I feel bad because it was a horrible time of suffering for so many, but it worked out pretty well for me.”
10.“I partially melted a wax seal from theElizabethan era(around 1580). I was tasked with photographing it when I was in the school photography club, and I used a powerful lamp, which got a bit too close. Luckily, I didn’t do too much damage to it, but I did melt a small part at the bottom.”
— purrcthrowa
" Oof , if it make you feel any better , it was probably a really good breeding . No agency any curator would let a teenager have that kind of admission unsupervised . "
— momofeveryone5
11.“When I was a kid, my parents had to work late and couldn’t pick me up from school. I would have to walk about an hour and a half to get home (I didn’t like taking the bus). Because it was so far, I would try to hang out at any of my friends' houses who would let me stay while I waited for my parents. Anyways, one day, I was passing by a friend’s house while walking home, and I thought I’d call them to see if I could come hang out. No answer. I knew where they hid their spare key, and for some reason, I still can’t explain, I let myself in. I walked around shouting their name, and no one was home. After about 30 seconds, I realized I just broke into my friend’s house. I quickly left and put the key back. I haven’t told anyone. The worst part is that my friend is Russian with a scary Russian dad with a lot of guns. I’m thankful no one was home.”
12.“In college, I’m the one who took a Sharpie to black out the resident advisor’s door peephole. I guess they had to do a total replacement. She would stand there all day/night watching people come and go. Some kind of power or ego trip, I don’t know. There was a very ‘serious’ floor meeting with the RA and building manager about defacing campus property that we were required to attend. Writings and expulsions were threatened if the person was caught. I showed up stoned as fuck but seeming serious and not knowing anything. My roommate knew because she was my lookout, but we had a good laugh after the meeting back in the room.”
— FlagrantWanderer
" How did a Sharpie destroy the peephole ? Is it not just field glass ? Did no one have a Q - tip and some rub alcohol ? That ’s awesome , though . "
— jenorama_CA
" As someone who ’s spent time knead in university alimony , I can assure you either the techs were not smart enough to have it away this , or they simply could n’t be bother and would rather supersede it . "
— IronDominion
13.“My dad’s truck didn’t randomly break down, forcing him to buy a new one; I mistakenly put diesel in it because I thought all trucks took diesel.”
14.“I was the one who clogged the toilet at the sleepover back in high school. No one knew who it was, and the other five girls were blaming each other for it while I sat watching TV.”
— Bayonettea
15.“Fifth grade, computer room. I realized that I was sitting at an admin computer, fully logged in. I deleted a silly educational program that we all hated using from the network. Someone across the room asked the teacher what happened to the program. They didn’t know. Never had to use that program again.”
16.“A buddy noticed I was having a bad time at a party, so we went streaking. We held onto our underwear in case, as that was always the rule. As we ran by the Catholic high school, to cheer me up, he ran his underwear up the flagpole. It was there for at least two weeks. There was a big to-do to find the persons involved.”
— SoupIsForWinners
17.“When I was thirteen, I got home from school and realized I’d forgotten my house key (Gen X), so I went to the neighbor’s house to call my mom at work. Surprisingly, my dad answered the phone. Me: ‘Dad?’ Dad: ‘Hello, son, how’s it going?’ M: ‘Uh… what are you doing?’ D: ‘Oh, just watching some TV while your mother is doing the dishes.’ At this point, I realized what had happened: I’d dialed the wrong number and got a guy who sounded like my dad and who had a son who sounded like ME. Before I could clear things up, he said, ‘Are you on your way home from school? Your mom just reminded me you’re still grounded.’ Without even thinking, I responded ‘Yeah, well, fuck Mom and fuck you, too! I’ll be home when I’m damn good and ready!’ and I hung up the phone.”
18.“It was I who hoisted the naked mannequin on the high school flag pole.”
— JPautofab
19.“I was the one doing the meowing over the main broadcast system at work.”
take down : Some responses have been edited for distance and/or clearness .
