That roast chicken is much a phallus of the household at this point .
Surprise, surprise — another Monday is upon us, but it will come asnosurprise that I have devised another plan to free us from their grasp. Since Pope Gregory XIII is the one who created the Gregorian calendar, perhaps all I need to do is get a little message to the new pope and ask to have Mondays removed from the calendar once and for all. In the meantime, we’ve got these 27 hilarious fails from last week to get us through:
1.And now, you’re probably thirsty again, too.
2.You don’t have to grip the glass so hard, dude.
3.Look, olive you babe, but this is too much.
4.Reboots should work for the human body.
5.To be fair, it is a really beautiful roasted chicken.
6.It’s that sexy Martha Washington energy.
7.This one’s on the house.
8.Time to start the day over entirely.
9.It’s a uh… “long heart,” right?
10.Nothing better than trying to watch them find it afterward.
11.Looks like his legs have been… swept under the rug.
12.How do you return this without them thinking it was you?
13.Was your Power Card balance low?
14.This is how the pope does it.
15.Oh, is that all?
16.One way is, “I’m not having a goodtimeright now.”
17.There is no way to know when ice cream will return to this plane of existence.
18.If you’re gonna keep secrets, you can’t go to your regular bar.
19.Wait… what is the significance of six?
20.More casual, please.
21.Um, the one that’s closest to my house?
22.“He’s here!” “He” beingJahmyr Gibbs, of course.
23.She must think you’re perfect for everyone.
24.Seems like it’s already working.
25.Currently loading up on carbs for a day just like this one.
26.Worth the price of a Broadway ticket, to be honest.
27.And finally, thank you so much for your input.
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