" To let a lot of you down , oh I feel it deeply . "
Chrissy Teigenexplained that she is no longer sober, but talked through her complicated relationship with alcohol.
In 2020, Chrissy revealed that she had stopped drinking after reading Holly Whitaker’s bookQuit Like a Woman.Shewroteon Instagram at the time, “I was done with making an ass of myself in front of people (I’m still embarrassed), tired of day drinking and feeling like shit at 6, not being able to sleep.” She latersaidthat drinking inhibited her ability to process the death of her third child, Jack, and was able tocelebratea year of sobriety.
Ahead of the release of her new interview with Holly on her podcastSelf-Conscious With Chrissy Teigen, Chrissy took toInstagramto write that she had been “dreading” the episode coming out. “Holly Whitaker changed my life, changed my perspective and changed how I view the fucking beast that is alcohol. But to have to admit to all of you that I let it back into my life,” she said.
“To let a lot of you down, oh I feel it deeply. I was so proud every time one of you told me on the street that holly and I made you want to rethink drinking, reframe drinking. I still am. The truth is, I don’t know what I’m doing. I one hundred percent know I like me better sober. I one hundred percent know I get more done, I absolutely feel better in my body without it. And I am one hundred percent pissed that I can’t be normal and have a cocktail with my husband on vacay without it turning into 8 and feeling like shit,” the 39-year-old continued.
“I’m tired of throwing up on a Tuesday. I don’t wanna feel like I need a shot to talk to a crowd,” she said. “I hate that the thought of maybe having a drink can consume me some days. So your rational mind is probably like ‘OK THEN STOP, BITCH!’ and god, do I fucking AGREE! All I know is my relationship with the whole process of sobriety (and messing up) has changed for the better. I am deeply aware of where this can go if I let it.”
She further said that she hoped to “continue to be mindful” with alcohol for the moment, noting, “Photos of my kid’s birthday parties are no longer me with bleary, sleepy drinking eyes. And I am proud of that. But I still know my relationship with alcohol just isn’t normal and never will be. Thank you for allowing me to figure it out openly in front of you all. Anyhow. This is for all the people who are figuring it out. And to the sober community, god I am still so, so proud of you.”
Three years sober myself here — the door is always open, Chrissy!
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance misuse , you could call SAMHSA ’s National Helpline at 1 - 800 - 662 - assist ( 4357 ) and get more resourceshere .
