" I ’ve larn not to blazon out in certain situation when people scream at me , find out this during my childhood when I used to get in trouble a plenty . "
admonition : This post mentions physical and sexual abuse .
Trauma can take many forms, and often, the ways we learn to cope are shaped in childhood. Unfortunately, thecoping mechanismswe develop early on, though they may seem harmless at the time, aren’t always as benign as they appear.
It’s usually not until adulthood that we begin to recognize how these habits may have causedmore harm than good.
The realization can be jarring: something that once brought comfort or stability might have actually been a quiet signal of distress.
A recent post on ther/AskRedditsubredditasked: “What’s a ‘harmless’ habit you had as a kid that you realize now was a cry for help?” The responses reveal how survival instincts can develop at a young age, with many people only gaining the clarity to understand them much later in life.
1.“Being so independent. Never asking for help, even when I really needed help. From a young age, I realized no one was going to help me, so I just figured it all out by myself. Not a great way to get through adolescence…could have really used a grown-up with my best interests in mind.”
2.“Feeling responsible for everyone’semotionsand being praised for ‘bringing joy’ to people.”
– u / littleirishpixie
3.“Constant maladaptivedaydreaming. Most of my childhood was spent in my head.”
4.“Always saying and thinking, ‘Other people have it worse.'”
– uracil / voided_user
5.“Constantly reading books to escape my reality. It was the only thing that made me happy. Everyone was so, so mean to me as a child.”
6.“Staying in my room, not interacting with family.”
– u / Chance_Caterpillar17
7.“In elementary school, I would go to the nurse every single day (usually after recess) about a stomach ache. It was to the point where if I didn’t go on a certain day, she would notice. Now, I know exactly what the stomach ache was caused by. Anxiety. I had no idea what was happening, and my family never bothered to really look into it, but yep, I had severe, untreated anxiety as a kid and now I feel so bad for that little girl.”
8.“Not wanting to shower. It started after I had been sexually abused. That combined with sleeping in my clothes, and a stomach ache that never went away. If my parents had heard those cries for help, maybe I would have opened up to them about the abuse.”
– uranium / dundanau
9.“I’ve learned not to cry in certain situations when people yell at me, learned this during my childhood when I used to get in trouble a lot.”
10.“Seeking constant approval.”
– u / credditthreddit
11.“I would take a five or seven-hour nap right when I got home from school to not have to deal with my family, then sit alone by myself all night while they slept.”
12.“Wetting the bed. I am 42 now. I did this until my teen years. Was physically and sexually abused. A teenager wetting the bed would be a huge red flag these days for abuse. Back in the ’80s and early ’90s, my pediatrician didn’t bat an eye and blamed me.”
– u / akhaddox
13.“Starting around age 8, I absolutely had to have some sort of noise in my room when I went to bed. Usually, it was the radio. As time went on, I had to have noise around me at all times. If I didn’t, I’d have a panic attack.”
14.“Saying ‘no thanks’ or that ‘I’m not hungry’ to toys and snacks when my parents offered, because I knew we were poor, and I felt like it was just one way to help my parents save money. I was like 8.”
– uranium / slowraccooncatcher
15.“I used to stay up late, take long showers, etc., to think. I thought that if I thought about something enough, I would find an answer or a way to make things feel better. Now it’s just turned into hyper-focusing on issues which cause extreme stress and anxiety.”
16.“Precociousness. Adults related to my conversation more than others of my age. Later, I met a romantic partner who had the same experience for different reasons: she wasn’t being abused the same way I was, but had parents who suffered from alcoholism, so from age 12 onward she basically had to handle the ‘adulting’ of cooking, cleaning, tending to her younger siblings, and so on. Is it weird to think I got off easier?”
17.“Staying awake late into the night because I’d be stuck in a prayer spiral of thanking God for everything and asking him to protect me, then throwing in some Hail Mary when I did ask God for something, and feeling immense guilt if I forgot to pray for someone and then having to offer up special intentions for them the next night.”
18.“Apologizing like everything was my fault since I always got blamed for everything. A friend called me out recently for apologizing for something that I had no part in, and I realized what I’ve been doing all these years.”
19.“Needing to be the best at everything and literally crashing out to the point of full-on meltdowns and panic attacks if I was just average. I was so scared of being a disappointment or bringing shame on my family. I’m now a uni dropout with an average job, still learning to drive, no huge future plans, a minimal social life, and a repetitive routine, but I’m so much happier for it. I’m proud of myself and my personal accomplishments, I’m proud that I’ve learned to find joy in everything I choose to do, even if I’m not the highest earner, the smartest, or the most talented.”
Note : reception have been edited for length / clearness .
If you or someone you screw has experienced intimate assault , you may call theNational Sexual Assault Hotlineat 1 - 800 - 656 - HOPE , which routes the caller-up to their nigh sexual assault service supplier . you may also search for your local centerhere .
If you are concerned that a kid is feel or may be in danger of insult , you may call or text theNational Child vilification Hotlineat 1 - 800 - 422 - 4453(4.A.CHILD ) ; service can be allow in over 140 languages .
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1 - 800 - 950 - 6264 ( NAMI ) and provides information and referral services;GoodTherapy.orgis an tie of genial health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy .
