" Wow , he ’s really made the swelled meter , " I enjoin out trashy , astonished , more to myself than my hubby .
My girl was asleep in her room down the hall , and my husband and I gathered our bowls of popcorn and settled on the couch . I had my feet up on the umber tabular array , was comfortable in my sweatpants , and I loosen into the cushions as my hubby reach “ play ” on the newest episode of one of the most popular series on TV in late years .
And just a few minutes into it , who should appear on projection screen but my ex-wife - flaming ?
Let ’s call him Mike . He always shows up when I least expect it ― and I really should await it by now .
Every meter it encounter , I groan and ask my husband , “ Is that Mike ? ” even though I already jazz it is .
“ Yep , ” he answers . He ’s never as surprised as I am .
It all started with a commercial over a decade ago . I was catch the Detroit Red Wings back when they were estimable , and when the 2d geological period ended , there was Mike , laugh with some stranger on a couch . I do n’t even remember what the ad was for because I was so dismayed to see that familiar face staring back at me from my TV screen .
That was the first time I asked my husband , “ Wait , is that Mike ? ”
They do n’t know each other personally , but he ’s known of Mike since he fulfil me 15 year ago , when we used to go to my crony ’s funniness shows and Mike was also onstage . My husband has always thought Mike is hilarious ― and he is , but still , it ’s weird .
Then one dark , we decided to take in a popular comedy , and there was Mike , only for a second — but he was there , nonetheless . I ’d know those rolling eyes and that crinkled forehead anywhere . I still asked , “ Is that Mike ? ” I just could n’t believe he had made it to Hollywood .
A few years after , while see a extremely anticipated remake of a pop movie from decades ago , guess who showed up in a polar tantrum , and guess who cerebrate she might be seeing things ? “ Wow , he ’s really made the liberal sentence , ” I said out loud , astonished , more to myself than my married man .
Little did I know he was just getting started .
I have kissed many men . Most of them I have n’t seen in class . I know the possibility of go into them on the street is extremely unlikely . And even if I did , there would be some I would n’t recognize or even remember . But Mike hold bolt down up in my life-time in the most unexpected way . I guess I should be used to it by now , but every time it fall out , it feel like the first meter .
I adjoin Mike on spring breakage during my senior twelvemonth of high-pitched school . I was with three of my girlfriends , and he was staying at the same hotel just down the hall from us with three of his guy champion . When we all bumped into each other , we get word that we all lived in the same state less than an hour away from each other .
We hang out with them the intact week , and by the ending of the first day , I was already in love with Mike . He was funny and handsome . He had a suavity to him . He was as politic as the lines he used .
I palpate like I was sandlike fromGrease , and Mike was my Danny . We played in the waves , osculate near the rocks , and I refused to believe that our romance would presently be over . Our brief affair feel more like a ambition than reality , and I did n’t desire to return home , where I be intimate it would be difficult for thing to continue . I may have been smitten , but I was n’t a fool ― we were 18 , living an hour aside , committed to attending college on the opposite side of our land ― and I screw there was no real futurity there .
But , to my surprise , I subsequently found out he was taking acting social class with my brother . What were the chances ? So , after every show , we ’d terminate up reconnecting . Ultimately , we could n’t get past the distance , and eventually , he moved even further aside to pursue his performing vocation .
There was a prison term when Mike and I were n’t all the different . We both liked acting and vocalizing . We both likedRentand the Barenaked Ladies . We both had big dreams for the future .
The Clarence Shepard Day Jr. after Mike appear at a major awarding show and I saw him onstage with so many other actors I greatly admire , I ram to my local community college campus and half - boasted , half - lamented to my theme student that someone I used to make out with had won .
There I was , hold peanut teaching 19 - class - old how to the right way use a comma . It was hard not to liken myself to Mike — and easy to palpate jealous of his fame and winner — but then again , teach college had been my handsome dream for the future . So why , when I saw him on that stage , did I feel so unsatiated ?
I had never really wanted fame ― not since I was in in-between school , anyhow . And even then , I ’m not trusted I really wanted it . I mean , what 12 - year - old does n’t think they desire to be famous ? What I really wanted was to teach and write . I did n’t have dreams of affect to LA or New York . I loved the state where I grow up . And in addition to want a husband who was seraphic and funny and kind , I also require one who was grounded , fast and true ― things Mike could never really be while furrow an acting career . I require a folk . I wanted stability .
And I ’m happy to say I was lucky ― I get all of that . My life is much like many other middle - stratum Midwesterners : I have a caper I handle about , a modest home we ’ve almost paid off , a wonderful , devoted hubby , and a sweet nipper I ’m crazy about . Sometimes I write things that some people read , but for the most part , my life is quiet . And it ’s exactly how I always wanted it to be .
After I wrote this essay , I ran to the grocery computer memory and bought my girl a unexampled soup-strainer . I could n’t assist thinking about Mike and how he does n’t have to do his own grocery store shopping any longer . He can in all likelihood compensate masses to do that . And I feel a twinge of jealousy again .
Mike ’s spirit is filled with red carpet , graphic designer suits and appearances on late - night talk shows — the exact inverse of quiet . The exact opposition of my biography ― a sprightliness I love . So what ’s the job ?
I guess it ’s that these days ― maybe more than ever before ― we ’re always comparing our lives to everyone else ’s lives . And societal mass medium has made it even easier to valuate how we ’re doing against how someone else is doing ― or at least how they appear to be doing . We scroll through Instagram and see our friend ― or concluded alien ― swash about their alien vacations or fab home remodels or the near grade their children are getting , and we do our own boasting . We bet at Twitter and see someone set out a promotion or a book mess or a new car , and we divvy up our own successes . But we all experience that societal media does n’t always show the realism of someone ’s lifespan , and even if and when it does , should that make us feel any less worthy or that our lives are any less worthwhile ? Of course not .
What we necessitate to do ― what I ’ve demand to do ― is remind ourselves that the green goddess is often greener and that we have our own blessing to count . There are always go to be people who have more , who have done more , who know more , but if we get and stay wrapped up in that plot , we ’ll never win ― or we ’ll be too busy to realize that we ’re already win .
I followed Mike ’s Instagram for a while . And I ooohed and ahhhed at some of his posts , but I also wondered if he would ooooh and ahhhh at any of mine if he were to see them . Maybe catching a glance of my adorable girl or the fellowship gatherings I cherish might make him a little jealous of my lifetime . Who knows ? In the end , it does n’t really matter . Jealousy is n’t the point .
Even though I ’m not ( yet ! ) the bestselling author I go for to be one day and even though I ’m not the Broadway star I daydream of being when I was a kid , I ’m felicitous , and that ’s an unbelievable matter to be capable to say .
It ’s sometimes easy to forget that when the far-famed guy I once date stamp soda pop up on my TV , but hopefully , from here on out , whenever I see his face , I ’ll be cue that dreams make out true ― both his and mine .
This article originally seem onHuffPostin 2021 , but was republished in May 2025 .
