" The stableboy lead for two hours in the middle of the response to run a live phantasy football game draft . They ’re disjoint now . "
For some couples, weddings are a magical day that begins the rest of their lives. For others, weddings are just an expensive way to find out it’s time to break up.
Reddit useru/Olya_rooasked, “What wedding moment made you think: ‘They are not going to last long’?” The thread quickly filled with thousands of gut-wrenching stories of unhappy couples and weddings gone awry. Here are the ones that really took my breath away:
1.“The bride tried to playfully feed the groom some cake and kept pulling it back once it got close to his mouth. He slapped it out of her hand the third time she did this and stormed off. In the ensuing awkward silence and wide-eyed staring, we all knew it wouldn’t last. Surprisingly, they were together for nearly two years before the bride eloped with her step-brother. No one saw that coming.”
— u / grubychild
2.“My wife got invited to a client’s daughter’s wedding. The couple were both drama students. Much of the bridal party was other drama students. The maid of honor’s toast consisted of tearful declarations of unrequited love to the groom, along the lines of ‘if it couldn’t be me, I’m glad it’s mybest friendthat’s marrying you.’ The best man’s speech was a lusty declaration of ‘if it doesn’t work out, call me, babe…like the previous time you called me.’ Other toasts were similarly weird. A guy at the table I was seated at was a friend of the bride and said to me that he was ‘this close’ to standing up during the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ bit. I’m still not sure if the whole thing was a bunch of emotionally damaged 20-year-olds or one big piece of performance art.”
— atomic number 92 / sharplescorner
3.“My mom went to a coworker’s wedding where the bride found out that her new husband had spent over $1,000 at a strip club and paid $200 for an hour-long private room lap dance at his bachelor party. I guess someone drunkenly blew the whistle. The bride stuck it out until the end of the reception and eventually broke down in the bathroom. They divorced a month later. Some brides are cool with their grooms going all out for the bachelor party, but apparently, he’d originally told her they went to a baseball game and bar hopping. They were also really tight on cash at the time. She’s happily remarried, though!”
— neeeenbean
4.“I was at a wedding as a plus one. The bride drunkenly sat down at our table and started talking to us. She then told me that she slept with her ex right before walking down the aisle. She had sex with her ex in her wedding dress in the bridal suite. She then downed the last of my drink and went off to the dance floor. I was left speechless. I didn’t know anyone but my date. Less than a year later, the bride and groom were divorced.”
— u / southdakotagirl
5.“When my mom got to the altar, her husband-to-be said, ‘Why did you have to plan the wedding while you were on your period? You look so fat!’ She was a size 6 and did not look even slightly large (as if that should even matter), and the priest was so taken aback that he turned to her and asked, ‘Should I continue?’ I remember standing next to my auntie (we were the flower girl and maid of honor) and seeing her face go from SO proud to SO angry, and my mom just quietly said, ‘Yep,’ with this defeated sigh. They divorced less than a year later.”
— u / RatATattedUp
6.“I was at a wedding when a phone went off during the ceremony. In the middle of exchanging vows. It was the groom’s. He took the call. They are divorced now.”
— u / TomppaTom
7.“Before my wedding, I’d asked my husband to practice dancing with me because I’m uncoordinated due to a disability. He blew me off and said we’d be fine. As we danced, he spoke in my ear, not even quietly, ‘What are you doing? What’s wrong with you? You’re embarrassing me!!’ We lasted two years. Leaving was the best decision I ever made.”
— atomic number 92 / Edavis050694
8.“When my sister married her first husband, she mouthed to my father walking her down the aisle, ‘I can make this work, right?’ They were divorced six months later.”
— u / IMgonnaDIE
9.“Leaving the rehearsal dinner, my friend scream-cried at me and her mom for nicely suggesting she go thank her future mother-in-law for the rehearsal dinner. The bride was mad at where the rehearsal was held because she thought it was tacky. I commented on her groom’s family being family after tomorrow (after the wedding), and she screamed, ‘SHE (MIL) WILL NEVER BE MY FAMILY!’ I gave the marriage two and a half years and got a call at two years and a few months that it wasn’t working out.”
— elvenmal
10.“The groom left for two hours in the middle of the reception to run a live fantasy football draft. They’re divorced now.”
— u / d - bplatypus
11.“I was a bridesmaid at a friend’s wedding. After the ceremony, we took pictures and went to a bar for a few drinks before the reception. At the bar, the bride confided in me that she was nervous for the reception because her boyfriend (not the guy she just married) would be there. Her boyfriend knew she was getting married and wanted to ‘check out the competition,’ but her groom had no idea she was cheating on him.”
— u / amelrake
12.“Wedding videographer here! I think my favorite moment was when I was sitting at the miscellaneous table with all the randoms and the girl next to me, the groom’s ex, drunkenly admitted to sleeping with the groom a few months prior.”
— atomic number 92 / qwertyNopesir
13.“Source: my wedding. We’ll start three days before. The wedding was a Renaissance fair–style wedding outside at a large gazebo, and the maid of honor had promised to purchase a stylized dress for my bride that they had agreed on. THREE DAYS before the wedding, she called to tell us she had no money and was embarrassed to admit it, so we literally hand-sewed a dress together in 24 hours. In my opinion, it turned out pretty nice for what it was. The bride’s mother was supposed to pick up the cake and drive an hour south for the wedding. She left her house 30 minutes before the wedding to pick it up. When she finally showed up (an hour late), the cake was DESTROYED. She put it in the backseat and drove like hell all the way down, just slamming it against the box with every turn.”
" During the one - time of day holdup , there was almost a fist fight between two groomsman because the housemaid of purity showed up in the garb she was ' unable to yield ' in an obvious endeavour to upstage the bride . During her speech after the observance , the maid of honor originate it by saying , ' When we all met , I did not wish [ my name ] at all , however I witness that he originate on you like a fungus . ' Needless to say , my entire side of the kinsperson was super dusty about all of this . Since all of these issuance were on the St. Bridget ’s side , I was told to suck it up and we ’d hash out it later . I adopt that many of these ' ally ' had just exhibit themselves the door . Quite the opponent . Two years by and by , when I accept my first well - paying caper out of college , it became an publication that it was an minute and a half out of our town , so she decide to stay behind with her friends . I mailed her the divorce papers , and since she could n’t even be vex to show up to the hearing , I have n’t seen her again . "
— u / Drakkarim411
14.“This was before the wedding. The groom’s grandmother and mother visited the bride’s house to make sure her kitchen and pantry were fully and properly stocked with their precious baby boy’s favorite snacks and that she knew how to ‘keep a house in good order.’ That was a big old ‘fuck no.'”
— u / Infinite - Furiosa
15.“I have a photography side business and got a call from a friend of a friend to shoot a hastily-assembled wedding. She wasn’t pregnant; supposedly, the happy couple had fallen madly in love and just wanted to get married ASAP. Her mom did an amazing job and threw a ton of money at putting together a gorgeous wedding at a high-dollar venue, and things were going great until the reception. The groom had been pounding shots and was out GRINDING with his best man in the center of the dance floor. The bride just sort of giggled and said, ‘Those two are so SILLY together!’ Fast forward, maybe three months later, I call up the bride’s mother about delivering the album, and she just sighed that it wouldn’t be needed, as the bride caught him and the best man ‘in the act.'”
— axj66
16.“The bride awkwardly sang a duet at the ceremony. It was a duet with another man because the groom couldn’t sing. It was really special.”
— atomic number 92 / GWindborn
17.“I used to be Mormon, and getting married in a Mormon temple is a big deal because you have to be in line with everything they teach and refrain from drinking, pre-marital sex, smoking, etc., to get a temple recommendation. After we got changed into our temple clothes, the temple workers led us to a room right next to the sealing room where we could have a moment together before the ceremony started. After the worker left the room, I turned to my fiancé and said, ‘We did it! We made it! We’re doing this!’ He just looked me dead in the eye with no emotion and said, ‘I could still say no.'”
" All of our family and friends were in the next elbow room wait for us to get espouse in a matter of minutes . People thought I was crying during the ceremonial because I mat the liveliness , but I was squall because I was wed someone who ( I realize ) always made me oppugn whether or not he get it on me . The marriage was pretty much all like that , so after a year of shrinking into a shell of my former self , I exit . I also leave the Mormon church . I ’m single and happy now . I ’m just living with my dog and have no plans to ever remarry . "
— u / Justonet
18.“The soon-to-be bride told me two days beforehand that she found her fiancé annoying, she didn’t like him, and he was AWFUL in bed. She was visibly, endlessly uncomfortable at the rehearsal wedding/dinner. Then, she sobbed the ENTIRE morning, day of. She ended up not getting any makeup done because she wouldn’t stop scream-sobbing and refused to get dressed, which stalled the wedding by about 35 minutes. She then said 45 minutes of ‘vows’ that she had prepared (nine pages of vows to friends and family, his parents and sisters, and none to her actual husband). Then, she ALMOST didn’t even say ‘I do.’ She managed to get an ‘Uh, yeah, okay. Yeah, I do,’ out almost a full minute after she was supposed to say anything.”
" I could go on for HOURS , but it was the most painful and embarrassing marriage I ’ve ever been to . I ’ve got my money on 10 calendar month . We ’re one calendar month in . "
— u / brbdead
19.“My wife and I were both in the wedding party for a friend of mine. We found out the bride was talking to guys on a dating app WHILE she was getting ready the morning of the wedding. Also, during the ceremony, more than one family member could be heard saying it wouldn’t last and what a mistake it was.”
— u / Havoc3_20
20.“They were doing their vows, and the priest got to the ‘for richer or poorer’ part. She said, ‘For richer or richer, and maybe for poorer.’ The officiant was not pleased. I think they made it a year.”
— u / crm115
21.“I was the maid of honor. Me, the best man, and the couple went into a separate room to do the signing stuff. The bride excused herself to go to the bathroom, and the groom started making pretty mean remarks about her cooking (something she’s passionate about) to the officiant. She came back, heard they were talking about cooking family meals together, and gave him the warmest smile, thinking he had praised her. He scoffed awkwardly and changed the topic. That always stuck with me. He wasn’t laughing WITH her, but AT her — behind her back. They lasted seven months.”
— u / Kraken_of_BeverlyRD
22.“I knew it was over when the groom’s speech was, ‘Thanks, everyone, for coming. Thank you to my in-laws for paying for such an amazing day. And thanks to my new wife, who’s been fucking my best friend for the past two years.’ It was a literal mic-drop moment, and he walked out. Apparently, he found out about them not long before the wedding and decided his speech would be his revenge.”
— u / Maybe1AmaR0b0 tetraiodothyronine
23.“The bachelor party and the bachelorette party were in Vegas at the same time — across the hall from each other. The bride and groom got in a huge fight on the last night of the trip, and when I was leaving, I said, ‘I’ll see you guys at the wedding,’ to the groom, and he replied, ‘I’m not sure there’s gonna be one.’ There was a wedding, but they were divorced within 18 months, I believe.”
— u / themightybearorrist
24.“I worked at a museum that doubled as a summer wedding venue. As part of the wedding package, the museum would stay open after hours for the guests, so I’d basically just sit there and greet people. One wedding got particularly rowdy. Almost everyone was drunk, people were jumping into the fountain, and someone vomited in said fountain. At one point, the bride was crying. Turns out the groom and one of his groomsmen were screwing upstairs in one of the bathrooms. A fight ensued between the groom and the father of the bride, and cops were called because it got really ugly. It was entertaining for me, but I felt so bad for the bride.”
— uracil / lachrymal _
25.“The groom and all the men in his party walked behind the outdoor altar and urinated (facing the woods, thankfully) just before the ceremony started. It was dead silent, and all of us guests were practically forced to watch. The worst part was that, meanwhile, the bride was standing at the altar waiting for him. 🥴 They’ve been married for three months but I’m expecting a divorce at any time, as this is just one example of the messed up things that have happened in their relationship.”
— drue_drop
26.“Two friends of mine got married, and when they gave their vows, the guy started laughing at the part about being faithful. Oops.”
— u / Shakespurious
27.“The bride and groom did the first dance then spent the rest of their reception completely apart from each other getting shit-faced with their own separate friend groups. The only other dancing all night was the bride dancing with her high school friends, the father-daughter dance, and the mother-son dance, during which the groom cried. The best man’s speech didn’t mention the bride at all and basically boiled down to, ‘Groom, you’re married now, but our bond is older and stronger. All of our hunting and fishing trips together are the best things in our lives, and I can’t wait for more.’ Such a sad, desperate atmosphere. They made it a little over one year.”
— u / DrPeace
28.“The groom looked deep into my daughter’s eyes and said his vows to her. She was the maid of honor.”
— u / grannys_on_reddit
29.“The groom ended up at the emergency room between the ceremony and the reception. He went out with his sister and friends the night before and got plastered. They held a cold pack to the back of his neck to keep him vertical during the wedding photos. The marriage lasted 30 days until they fought. She left the house, and he filled the U-Haul truck with everything but her clothes.”
— u / blackhart452
30.“One person at my wedding told me I was making a huge mistake. I didn’t believe it until I overheard my now ex-husband and his best friend talking about how hot a female guest was. She was the ‘most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.’ Not me. Humbling.”
— u / CarrieAyn1
31.“We met at the groom’s house on our way to the bachelor party. We gathered around for a shot, and his toast, verbatim, was, ‘To my future ex-wife.’ We all looked at each other awkwardly, but ultimately didn’t think much of it and had a great night. Turned out he was already cheating on her. He ended up having a kid with the other woman, and they got divorced when she found out. He is obviously no longer a friend.”
— u / JohnnyMoondog55
32.“The groom decided to start a cake fight without any warning or discussion beforehand and shoved the bride’s face in cake. Not long after, I saw her in the bathroom, tears streaming down her face, her hair and makeup ruined, with a bridesmaid trying to get cake out of her ears.”
— u / roonilwazib
33.“I used to work at a wedding venue, and this is the first story that comes to mind. At this particular venue, there was a bridal suite and a groom suite where the wedding party could get ready onsite, have a couple of drinks, hang out, watch movies, bring game consoles in to play, etc. (we had a huge flatscreen in the groom’s suite with a pool table). Since the groomsmen always got ready fast and had their pictures done first, it wasn’t that uncommon for people to want to do other things while they waited for the ceremony and the wedding to start. ANYWAY, when it came time for the other coordinator and me to line the bridal party up for the ceremony, we went to the groom’s suite to make sure he was ready to go since the ceremony was starting very, very soon. We walked in to find him half-dressed, sitting on the couch playing whatever game. He didn’t even bother to look up at us.”
" My confrere and I said , ' Hey [ groom ] , we already started line everyone up . It ’s prison term to bulge out your ceremony . We call for you … since it ’s your wedding . ' No joke , he sat taciturnly and continued playing his plot until he said , ' Yeah , give me a indorsement . I really ca n’t intermit this powerful now . ' decent BEFORE HIS OWN curse WEDDING CEREMONY . The ceremony ended up delay because he did n’t need to separate himself from his game . On his wedding ceremony solar day . If I ’m not false , they split up after four months . "
— u / neekski
34.“This guy I know was getting married for the second time and his bride had written a whole page of vows for him. It was really sweet and you could tell she put a lot of time into it, but when it was his turn for his vows, all he said was, ‘What she said!’ The look of disappointment on her face was really heartbreaking.”
— u / Ahoy_Koi
35.“The groom’s father refused to come due to the bride. He sat at the head table wailing uncontrollably. I (a bridesmaid) offered him a glass of wine. The bride began yelling at me to stop because the groom wouldn’t like it. She cut me off after the wedding for this. A couple of years later, she doesn’t have me or her husband anymore. Wonder who the problem actually was?”
— daniellelynnw2
36.“My distant cousin said ‘I do’ and walked down the aisle with her new husband to ‘Another One Bites The Dust’ by Queen. He ended up passed out drunk on his in-laws’ couch on their wedding night. They didn’t last the year.”
37.And: “I used to be a makeup artist, and I KNEW the day of my sister’s wedding that it wouldn’t last. While applying her makeup, she complained about her husband-to-be the entire time. Everything he did annoyed her. She was already contemptuous of him. I had never seen such an unhappy bride. At the end of the party, when they cut the cake, he smashed it into her face. She smashed hers into HIS face. They started tussling, and in the process, the skirt of her dress was ripped. The crowd around them just gasped, and the silence was completely uncomfortable. My husband tried to break the ice by saying, ‘Somewhere in the world,d a makeup artist is crying.’ They divorced a few years later.”
" However , my babe ’s NEXT wedding was very impromptu , but she seemed SO felicitous ! It did n’t even rattle her when the food truck she had hired to feed her guests did n’t show up ! Instead , she simply ordered some pizzas and had them deliver . We ALL hump her new married man and wish them the best ! "
— jhall904
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