" We blamed them first on the pandemic , but now my colleagues and I are beginning to retrieve it ’s a ethnical faulting in parenting . "
As millennials become parents,parenting trendshave naturally shifted, and there’s been nooo shortage of opinions.
Naturally, critics,previous generations, andother parentshave weighed in on the topic, but I thought I’d turn the attention over to those who sometimes face the results of today’s controversial parenting methods—teachers.
So,I asked teachersof theBuzzFeed Communityto share with me the modern parenting methods they disagree with that affect the classroom. Here’s everything they had to say:
1.“First, we had helicopter parents, but now they are lawn mower parents. Their goal is to remove any and all obstacles in the way of their child’s happiness and success. They try to ‘mow down’ anyone who poses a threat to their children not being first. We had to keep all the ballots for class officers, homecoming court, etc., in case parents wanted to recount them (like teachers care who the kids elect).”
2.“I teach kindergarten in a western state, and we have seen huge changes. We blamed them first on the pandemic, but now my colleagues and I are beginning to think it’s a cultural shift in parenting. We spend huge percentages of our time managing these problems instead of supporting academics, but there is no change without parental support. The three largest are…”
3.“I’ve been teaching in elementary schools for 20 years. Parents today shield their children from any kind of disappointment. Managing disappointment and other difficult emotions is an important life skill. But some parents can’t handle seeing their child sad.”
" So they undermine their child ’s healthy development by check that they do n’t go through disappointment or unhappiness whenever possible . This recoil when the inevitable bump , and something does n’t go their child ’s mode . "
— Anonymous
4.“Parents getting defensive every time you mention their kid needs extra help at home with something. I am not your enemy! We are on the same team. I am trying to help your child to be a successful person.”
5.“Two words. LEARNED. HELPLESS. If your child needs a pencil to complete their homework but is sitting there doing nothing, TELL THEM to GET a pencil. The number of times I’ve pulled a kid’s side to ask why they’re not attempting their work, and I get a variation of, ‘I don’t have a pencil,’ or, ‘I didn’t know what to do’ is alarming.”
likewise , " Parents do everything for their kids , from tying their shoe to produce them collation to clean up after them , and more . child postulate to pick up ( and I have found that they want to discover ) how to be more ego - sufficient . "
— pazna213
6.“I’ve been a university teacher for close to 20 years. The current students have not been taught by their parents to take any responsibility for their actions. They make poor decisions and then expect everyone else to get them on track (i.e., missing class for a trip or a night out and doing nothing to turn in their work that is due). They take it personally when there are consequences instead of understanding that it’s objective that if they don’t do work, they will get a zero.”
(Cont’d) “Skill levels are lower than they used to be. High school teachers are exhausted by being blamed and just pass kids not to have to deal with parents. Kids need to be taught to take responsibility and be held accountable. It doesn’t mean they are bad if they make mistakes; it just means they must learn and grow. Parents are not teaching this.”
7.“I’ve been teaching in the NYC public schools for 27 years. This year, parents are sending their 4th graders to school with cans of Arizona iced tea and Takis for breakfast.”
8.“I’m a middle school teacher, 20 years in. When my mom would get a call from the school, she’d answer it with, ‘What did my child do?’ Now, when you call a parent, it’s ‘What did you do to my child?’ The automatic assumption is that the child is telling the truth and the teacher is lying or making something up, that the teacher has something against the child or is just mean or lazy.”
" It ’s demoralize to us , altogether cave our relationship with the kid , and puts all the control in the hands of the child , not the teacher or the parent . Kyd ' brains have n’t develop enough to make those choices and decisions ; that ’s why we have school . Teachers are here to help Kid learn from mistakes , and parents decline to acknowledge that kids are making them . "
9.“I teach 6th grade at an elementary school. For me, it would have to be how much parents let their children be on social media. It is absolutely wild. We had an assembly once where the speaker asked students how often they are on their phones at night. The majority said over 10+ hours. I ask all my students what they do when they go home, and 80% say they go on their phones. It’s mostly TikTok.”
10.“I called home for a failing student and the parent asked me what I would do. I told the parent I would take the kid’s phone away until their grades increased. The parent said, ‘Oh no, I’d never do that. How would I text them at school?’ Says about all you need to say.”
" high-pitched school instructor , teaching 18 year . People complain about fry texting their parents , but I want the parent to respect their kids ' learning time and break texting them throughout the school day . Mom , news of your promotion can be celebrate when the small fry get home ! ! ! "
11.“The ‘gentle parenting’ trend. Really, the parents aren’t ‘gentle parenting,’ but ‘absent parenting,’ and their kid’s needs aren’t met. No discipline or accountability. No, thank you.”
" First grade ( shortly to be ex ) teacher : this will probably be really vulgar , but gentle parenting and allowing everything to be a dialogue . Sometimes you have to do sh*t you do n’t want to do because it ’s for the trade good of beau monde and helps your community . I ’m not read kids should n’t be validated , and their voices are n’t important , but sometimes we just have to go ! I have a course of study to watch over and learning target to stumble . societal and emotional learning is so important , and seeing your residential district ’s needs before your wants is an undervalued skill . "
12.“Bargaining. So many children automatically go for an ‘I’ll stop this if you do this for me’ approach because that’s how they are raised. The authority as the teacher is called into question as children will display inappropriate behaviors in the classroom and will only stop IF you can provide them some sort of ‘want.'”
13.“The recent parenting trend of avoiding the word ‘no’ is ridiculous. Kids need to learn to hear and use ‘no’ in various contexts (and be able to understand the difference). For example, many parenting accounts say to save ‘no’ for emergencies like running into traffic. Yes, that is obviously a time you need kids to listen immediately, but tone and context are already enough for them to understand that it is different than saying no in other situations.”
" When they get to school day , we desire students to say no as a boundary to their peers , not only in an hand brake . They call for to be able to answer to a no from a scholarly person or teacher without it being an emergency . exercise with normal linguistic process at home is the only way for them to acquire that acquisition . ' No ' is n’t a sorry affair ! "
14.“I am a substitute teacher who is booked every day. I teach K- 5 and see every grade level. I cannot understand the complete lack of basic manners and respect I see in classrooms. It is easily two-thirds of each class I’m in where students have ZERO manners or respect, not just for the teacher but for other students. They think it’s all about them, that they’re the only one in class, the most important person on planet Earth.”
" It ’s skanky and sad , peculiarly for the small identification number of kids who DO have manners . And it ’s a complete reflection of parenting . Kids are sponges ; they mimic on the button what they see , pick up , and feel from the people they live with . parent need to do well for the future tense of their tyke . "
15.“Not punishing or correcting children when they misbehave. I’ve got so many friends who have a hands-off approach to correcting their children, and it makes my skin crawl. Instead of the children learning to behave in civilized society, the parents let every moment and choice be dictated by what their child wants. Parents are meant to be in charge for a reason; they have the logical reasoning skills children are still developing.”
16.“I own two large preschools, so I see A LOT. Most recently, one student hit his friends, then his teacher, and then destroyed the director’s office after not getting to go outside when he wanted to. When asked to pick him up when we could not calm him down, the parent walked into the destroyed office and said… ‘Do you need a hug?’ Hugged him and bought him a new book at the book fair on the way out.”
" Speechless . This is the very definition of rewarding bad behavior . If you really want to show your tiddler that you love them , teach them to be people who can serve in the humans . There is no best gift you may give . "
— creativewolf943
17.“Not setting boundaries and allowing your child to walk all over you. Setting boundaries for your child, even at 15 months old, along with the simple teaching of social skills, is essential to social-emotional development, understanding empathy, and other skills. It’s also important to teach your child how to handle emotional regulation when they don’t get their way.”
" It ’s ok to tolerate your child to have a tantrum . Bribing your youngster during toddlerhood will negatively bear on self - regulation and societal development , as they will expect everyone to give in to them all the time . "
18."[The idea] that keeping your kids ‘busy’ prevents them from doing anything bad or keeps them out of trouble. I see these poor kids bogged down by so many activities, and very few are willing participants. I feel like their childhood is being hijacked. And inevitably I see rebellion go from zero to sixty, and most get burned out by high school, forget college. Let them be bored! Or still! Or just hang out with their friends doing NOTHING."
19.“I’ve noticed a huge uptick in the lack of focus, ability to concentrate and think critically. My students Google EVERYTHING, even opinion questions. If they are provided with a passage and subsequent comprehension questions, I frequently have to redirect them back to the text and tell them copying and pasting from Google is not allowed. I try to mitigate this by giving paper copies, which is always met with groans. And no one ever has a writing utensil, even if I just gave them one last period.”
" There ’s a lack of accountability from both scholar AND their parents . student are consistently unprepared for grade , and I frequently have to utilise net monitoring software package to ensure they remain on the assignment and not just ignore the work and play games . Parents ofttimes do n’t respond to emails , pick up or retrovert vociferation , or follow up with behavior issues at nursing home ; if I give a pupil a detention , the parent says no because they do n’t need to cull their kid up . "
20.“I’ve been a teacher and principal for 31 years. Lack of sleep is one of the biggest changes I’ve noticed. Using devices, going to bed with devices, and late-night video gaming contribute to children being exhausted. Parents establishing age-appropriate, consistent bedtimes (without exposure to a device at least an hour before bedtime) is a solution. I teach 5th grade, and there wasn’t one day this year when I didn’t have at least one student sound asleep in class.”
21.“4th grade teacher here. One modern parenting trend I’ve noticed but 100% disagree with is how some parents handle their children’s school responsibilities. Specifically, I see parents helping their children avoid school simply because they did not complete assignments or projects. This isn’t even due to a family emergency.”
" The numeral of electronic mail and earphone calls I get from parent asking their child to be let off from turn in work is astounding . When I respond that they may not be excused , the parent often just let the child to miss schoolhouse entirely . This approach undermines the importance of responsibleness and answerableness in education . "
22.“I’ve been teaching for 10 years. What gets me has been the escalation of parents pulling their kids out of school for extra holidays, early pick-ups, and to get them out of things they don’t want to do. Anytime a kid says ‘it’s not fun’ or ‘it’s hard,’ they get pulled out. They’ll drive hours to rent a hotel room near where camp is happening so they can pick their kid up… The kids never learn resilience or to confront challenge, or get an opportunity to grow; they are being infantilized and leave school with little ability to do anything for themselves (which schools get blamed for…).”
23.“This is my 7th year teaching at a homeschool parent partnership program. I am starting to see more and more new families wanting to enroll their kids yet have no idea what true homeschooling requires… [A lot of people are] ‘unschooling’ but phrasing it as ‘homeschooling.’ There is a difference between focusing and infusing students’ specific interests related to certain content and just straightup saying playing Monopoly is the equivalent of doing math.”
" Homeschooling , co - op farm spirit ( whatever you want to call it ) has become a fantasy on social medium , yet parents do n’t stop to conceive about how much work and dedication it actually take . Your child ’s didactics is not an ' esthetic . ' "
24.“I’ve been a middle school teacher for over 25 years, and parents don’t act like parents anymore. They use phones and tablets to raise their kids and try to be ‘friends’ with them instead of being parents. They don’t teach their kids basic manners, social skills, or that actions have consequences. Nothing is ever the kid’s fault. These kids are so apathetic, unmotivated, and entitled. It’s wild.”
Note : Some reaction have been edited for distance and/or clarity .
