" receive Quaker of a different gender . I ’ve always had a lot of cat friends . If you ca n’t trust someone with friends , then what ’s the point ? "
Recently, a Reddit userasked, “What is a red flag you hear people mention that you don’t think is [one]?” The responses were very honest and just straight-up so accurate, so here are 19 examples that really stood out:
reply have been edited for distance and clarity .
1.“Having a small group of new friends. The No. 1 red flag I’ve been told I’ve had is not having a single lifelong friend. All my friends are relatively new (5–10 years), and it’s a small group. I turned my life around when I learned I was going to be a father. I had to look myself in the mirror and ask myself if I would want my daughter to be around someone like me full-time. The answer was no. My friend group was the party crowd since high school. I quit partying, I quit drinking, and I quit extracurricular pharmaceuticals. I distanced myself from that crowd. I completely turned my life around for the better. My vices are now coffee or Coke Zero. My new group of friends are wonderful human beings who I consider to be brothers to me. I fail to see how this is a red flag.”
2.“My ex took ages to ‘confess’ to me that she was adopted. She just came out with it like it was some dirty secret during a casual conversation, a few months into us dating. She acted like she was confessing to something terrible about herself. I literally could not have cared less. I asked her about it later, and she said some people can be judgmental about it. Just…why???”
— kutuup1989
3.“I got accused by a coworker of ‘having something to hide’ because I don’t present myself online. I simply replied saying something along the lines of, ‘No, I just don’t feel I have anything I need to show.'”
4.“A ‘slow replier’ or whatever the crap. Instead, a person can be not needing or wanting to be in constant contact 24/7 and just going off to do their own thing in their own space and in their own time. Personally, it’s more of a red flag if they don’t have a life outside of you. Also, breathing room and having time to reflect and miss them are important. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that’s a very positive thing.”
— WishfulSleepy
5.“It’s, like, expected now that your partner should have full access to your phone. I was horrified when my friend was laughing and thinking it was cute that she caught her boyfriend secretly hunting through her phone when she was in the bathroom. He then pretended he hadn’t been. She thought it meant he was loyal and attached to her or something. Sorry, but how is raging insecurity to the point of violating your privacy funny? Unsurprisingly, he ended up destroying the relationship due to his own insecurities very quickly.”
6.“Not sharing your location. Everyone is entitled to that level of privacy, and it’s very weird for someone to want to know their partner’s location 24/7.”
— oceanpalaces
7.“Being confrontational. When you go about it the right way, someone who doesn’t avoid having the hard conversations in a relationship contributes more than someone who avoids them and would rather move forward as though nothing is wrong.”
8.“No contact with family. It’s much better than a relationship with a toxic family.”
— Cheap_Tip1594
" I agree with this . It shew boundary and strength to end unfit relationships . "
— Possible - Okra7527
" Yeah lots of the great unwashed have crappy families . Almost everyone I ’ve known who has no middleman with their family is the one who deal to snap off out of the unhealthy cycle they were born into . "
— pollyp0cketpussy
9.“It’s totally cool if you wanna watch four hours of TV every night, but I’m the weirdo ‘cause I like to play video games to relax in the evening?”
10.“Not giving eye contact. Sometimes it’s a red flag and a sign of deception, but often it just means someone is shy, introverted, or too sensitive to nonverbal cues. Some people have trouble articulating thoughts while gazing into faces; they lose their concentration. It’s not uncommon for people with childhood trauma to have hypervigilance. I’m more wary of people who hold eye contact too long.”
— MoonlightPicture
11.“On friendly terms with exes. I think this is a good sign, most of the time. It means they’ve handled breakups in a mature way.”
12.“When someone lives with their parents in their late 20s or 30s. With how expensive everything is now, that’s just smart. It doesn’t mean they’re immature or lazy.”
— HappyVermicelli1867
13.“Never married. No kids. Sometimes life works that way. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with them.”
14.“Having friends of a different gender. I’ve always had a lot of guy friends. If you can’t trust someone with friends, then what’s the point?”
— Smores_Mochi
15.“Not having or wanting pets is not a red flag. If anything, it shows that that person is aware of the conditions and attention they can give to a pet and the impact it has on their life. It shows great responsibility and respect toward the animal.”
16.“That he admires other girls’ beauty, too, not in a weird way or anything. I know there are women who are prettier or have better bodies than me. Even I admire them. So why would it be wrong if he does, too?”
— YARIZA-21
17.“People not wanting a dinner date or something extravagant on the first date. I see so many people up in arms about things like,He wanted to go on a coffee date? Ew.Sure, if that’s a hard line for you, then that’s fair enough. But it shouldn’t be a red flag. I feel like a coffee date is a perfect way to gauge if the other person is remotely on your wavelength without investing a ton of time or energy. And whilst I know most people WANT to feel like the other person is going out of their way to show up for them, if you haven’t ever met one another, it can be terrible for you both. I hated having to sit through entire dinners when I knew right after the first few sips of a drink that I wasn’t compatible with the person opposite me. A coffee date or a walking date allows you to both see if you even feel comfortable in each other’s presence enough to do something nice on a second date.”
18.“A picky eater. There are a ton of people who have health issues they are trying to cope with, and that often means a limited diet. It’s not ‘spoiled’ or ‘bratty’ to prefer to live without pain.”
— SinisterNovella
19.Finally, “When they’re quiet and not fond of sharing everything. I’m a quiet guy, but not in a shy way. I say what needs to be said and nothing more. A lot of people think that makes me antisocial or negative. But in reality, I love people and have very good relationships with my friends. My friends know this, and they know I will, more often than not, not share what I’m thinking or feeling in a given moment. But I’ll still vent if I need to. An open book is good, but some of the best books are short and to the point.”
