My java order yesterday need longer than this .

By now, we all know thatKaty Perrywas in space on Monday. She andfive other womenwere part of the Blue Origin expedition, which was organized in partnership with billionaire Jeff Bezos in some sort ofweird, pseudo-feminist, late-stage capitalism nightmare scenario.

Anyway, despite some peoplefeeling deep trepidationatKaty’s brave and arduous expedition, the whole thing lasted maybe 11 minutes. The crew was only in actual space for about 4 minutes, and I’m probably not the only person who is deeply underwhelmed, especially as the trip generated more CO2 emissions than one person creates in an entire lifetime.

To really demonstrate how ridiculous this stunt was, I’ve made a brief list of extremely short things that lasted longer than Katy’s trip to space.

1. The “Mission: Space” ride at EPCOT (15 mins including pre-show)

2. The “All Too Well” short film byTaylor Swift(14 mins 55 seconds)

3. The fastest spin cycle on a washing machine (20 mins)

4. Half an episode of “SpongeBob SquarePants” (12 mins)

5. Preheating an oven (15 mins, feels like an hour)

6. The shelf life of an avocado (barely more than 11 mins)

7. Louis XIX’s reign as King ofFrance(20 mins, Google it)

8. The Uber when it says it’s five minutes away (it’s not)

9. Drying my hair (all morning)

10. The TikTok ban (12 hours)

11. The time it takes me to find a suitable video essay to watch while I eat (until my food goes cold)

12. The double un-skipppable YouTube ads on my video essay (too long)

13. The time it tookKaty Perryto get in full glam for her space excursion (probably)

14. The first ever flight by humans in a hot air balloon, 1783 (25 mins)

15. The time it took me to write this list.

And that’s it. Let me know if there are other things I missed, or take some time to vent about billionaires in the comment section. The floor is yours.

The Blue Origin rocket launches, emitting a large plume of smoke, against a backdrop of distant hills shrouded in mist

Katy Perry posing on the red carpet

Futuristic theme park entrance with a globe sculpture and a rocket. Visitors walk nearby

A couple lies facing each other, embracing tenderly while gazing into each other's eyes

Laundry basket with clothes in front of open washing machines

SpongeBob SquarePants joyfully wakes up in his nautical-themed bedroom, with his pet snail Gary nearby and a jellyfish mobile overhead

Oven with digital clock showing 17:15. A dish inside is covered with a cloth, suggesting food is being kept warm or proofed

A halved avocado with a pit removed is on a wooden cutting board

A historical portrait of a person in formal military attire with epaulettes and decorative medals

View from inside a car driving on a scenic road with green hills and a small town visible through the windshield. Two people are in the front seats

Person drying hair with a hairdryer, wrapped in a towel, bending forward

Person on a couch playfully tossing popcorn in the air, looking up and trying to catch it with their mouth, holding a book. Relaxed setting

Child in a striped shirt looks puzzled while using a tablet, with a notebook and pencil nearby on the table

Person on red carpet wearing an elaborate, sparkling gown and headpiece, with geometric cut-out details

An old illustration of an ornate hot air balloon with decorative motifs and symbols, including sun faces, being prepared for launch

Person using a laptop in a park setting with a smartphone on the table. Background shows trees and grass