" Am I sorry ? Yes and no . I answer my needs . It happened many years ago . "
A while back, we wrote about"former side chicks"who shared the painfully petty, heartbreaking, and jaw-on-the-floor shocking reasons for getting with married people. Then, some readers even shared their own W I L D stories with us too. Here are the best ones:
1.“I met this guy when I was 19. I was insecure and had a pretty bad anxiety disorder, and he gave me lots of attention and distracted me from my problems. Thus began an (incredibly toxic) on-and-off situationship. He treated me horribly, I got fed up and broke it off, he’d come crawling back to me and gaslit me into thinking he wasn’t that bad after all, and that I was overreacting. Four years into that mess, out of the blue, he told me he had a girlfriend, but he wanted to continue to sext me. I told him no, that I did not condone cheating, and for some reason, HE got angry at ME. We didn’t talk for a while, and I felt relieved to be rid of him. But, lo and behold, one day he told me he wanted to sleep with me ‘one more time’.”
" I refused initially , but in the end , he managed to speak me into it . I intend he ’d finally leave me alone after that , and it would n’t count because we ’ve slept together so many time already . Afterwards , I did n’t feel as bad as I thought I would , mostly because I imagine I could actually get settlement this time . Of of course , not a workweek subsequently , he wanted to do it again . We fetch into a Brobdingnagian fight , he made some rather serious threat , and I blocked him everywhere . A few calendar month later , he texted me from a different number . He told me he ’d change , he ’d handle me well from now on .
He realise how significant I was to him , and how in effect I made him experience . ( He was still with his girl . ) I did n’t believe him , but some part of me thought that everything he broke at heart of me could be healed if I got a genuine apology from him . If he ’d treat me right just this once . So I kip with him again . And I felt bad than I did before . I had to retrieve of his girl and how I had n’t only let myself down but her , too . I do n’t intend for this to be an excuse for my activeness . I was at faulting , too . I act horribly , and I was full cognisant that he was cheating on her . I just wanted to tell my story as a cautionary tale . If someone shows you who they are , believe them . "
— Anonymous , 25 , Europe
2.“At 15, I lost my virginity to a guy I barely knew. I ended up hooking up with him over the next five years. I guess I had some kind of emotional attachment to him because even though I wasn’t attracted to the guy and never really liked him, I always wanted him to tell me he loved me. Well, one day, when I was in college, he asked me to break up with my boyfriend and be with him after one of our random hookups. I thought that was odd and unlike him. I found out on Facebook that his on/off girlfriend was expecting his baby. That made more sense. A couple of years go by, and again, after another random hookup, he tells me he loves me and would buy me a car if I were with him. This blindsided and completely turned me off, but it was also a huge personal accomplishment. The next day, I find out that his same baby mama is pregnant again and they’re engaged. He told me he loved me because he had cold feet.”
" tight frontwards a few more calendar month , and I ’m altogether wasted walking into a Hooters eating place to watch my friend vie in the swimsuit competition . I see a waitress in the window , and she flourish at me . I do n’t do it the girl at first , but then I recognize that it ’s this guy ’s baby mama . I consider , Wow , I do n’t know how she knows me , but that ’s really angelic of her to be so friendly to me . Well , my dumbass waves back at her , only to find out that she was wave at a mathematical group of people take the air behind me . She then shoot me with an AWFUL expression , like I had just run over her dog with my car . Once I go out her and come my feeling hurt , I realized that her husband was probably in the building somewhere . I was on a mission at that point . I found his pal , who asked me to lead him alone . So , I text him myself . About two minutes subsequently , I was hopping in his railway car around the back side of the building , and we were gone . I did n’t even tell my friends I was leave . I just disappeared . So , I slept with a married man ( one time ) because his wife looked at me in a mean way . "
— Anonymous
3.“I was on the moral high ground all my life until becoming the cheating wife. My husband and I had two young children and started sleeping in separate rooms. That was the beginning of the end. I met someone online through gaming, and we started as long-distance friends who could talk about anything. One day, it changed to having feelings for each other that neither of us expected. We met in person a few times, cross-country, and fell harder for each other. I decided to leave my husband due to being unhappy for so many years. Sadly, that was when the other man found religion and decided he couldn’t continue to be a part of such sin. It broke me emotionally for YEARS. But it also taught me that I have value as a woman beyond being a wife or a mom.”
" My happiness matters as much as that of my partner or my kids . I am split up now and with a partner of six long time . Never again to marriage because one can be felicitous and fulfilled without legal documentation . My kids are both thriving teens now , and my ex - married man has a girlfriend of his own . We are good co - parenting friends than we were as a couple . "
— Anonymous , 51 , New York
4.“All my life, I dated married men. I preferred it for many reasons. I never wanted to marry, nor did I want them to leave their wife. With a married man, you get the best of everything. Good sex, trips, clothes, cars, jewelry, and don’t have to clean up after them, hear about what you spend, go to school functions, etc. I loved my life, never felt ashamed, and could move on when I chose to. I wouldn’t change a thing. Only one of them ever divorced over the years, and I believe he would have anyway. I still feel it was right for me.”
5.“Am I sorry? Yes and no. I answered my needs. It happened many years ago.”
— Anonymous , 87 Texas
6.“I was the other woman while I was married. My (now ex) spouse and I were in a sexless marriage for about a decade. Not by my choice. Quarantine from COVID was only exacerbating our issues, so I started working out as an escape and got down to the smallest size I’d been in a long time. Once quarantine was lifted and I could see other people again, I suddenly received all this extra attention I wasn’t used to. So when a friend’s dad was extra complimentary during a party, I made the stupid decision to just go with it. I was VERY inebriated that first time, so I still don’t know exactly what happened, but we were like rabbits the following three times we ran into each other. He was SO verbal about how much he loved my body, how fun I was, how sweet I was, which my spouse was not.”
" We were eventually catch , which went about as badly as you may envisage . I bonk I should rue it , but aboveboard , it was a catalyst that I needed . I ’m dissociate now and go out someone who makes sure I always know how comprehended I am , sexually and otherwise . If I had n’t made that mistake , who sleep with if I ’d be here and happy ? "
— Anonymous , 30s , USA
7.“I’m not certain I was the other woman, but the fact that I was never introduced to his friends, that he only came to me for one thing, and that he never invited me to his place makes me wonder. That, and the time I called to wish him a ‘Happy Thanksgiving,’ a woman answered, and he then ghosted me. At least him doing that led to me meeting my husband.”
— Anonymous , 63 , Pacific Northwest
8.“I had a relationship with my married boss during a summer job in college. It was really effed up. He was married to my other boss, and they had one kid and another one on the way. Sure, the sneaking around was fun at first, and the sex was great, but, no surprise, it was toxic. We went through a vicious cycle of him saying he was going to leave her, me breaking up with him, and him manipulating me to come back.”
" It all come to an last when she stick with him one eventide when he snuck out to meet me . She fired me on the spot . He was thornless . It was all very sticky , especially have to enjoin my protagonist and my parent what bump . I ’m still obsess by it over 20 years afterwards . Even worse , they are still together and still have the patronage , and sometimes I bump into them when I am back in my hometown . 0/10 do not recommend ! "
— Anonymous , 43 , Anonymous
9.“I dated married men after college. No, I am not proud of it. And while I was really into them all, I did not want these men for myself forever. But they really did work my ego, telling me how great I was, so much better than their wives, how I understood them, etc… In truth, it was a suitable situation for me — I didn’t have to deal with them all the time, which meant I didn’t see the ugly bits. I knew pretty early (post-college) that I really didn’t want to be married at all, and at the time, this seemed like a viable solution.”
" But then I have married , and even though it was absolutely the incorrect choice for me , I realized how ill I ’d feel if I hump my married man cheat on me . I would never do that again . It ’s so wrong . I do n’t want to be party to hurting another womanhood like that . I never would have institutionalise to any of those guys — do you really desire to wed a slicker ? It also made me see that no matter how many ' my crazy married woman did this ' stories you get word , the married woman has a crew of true story about him , too . "
— blinky_bo
10.“I was in my 20s, working near the mall and using public transport. There was this guy who also used public transport, and I’d see him often. It turns out he worked at the mall, and eventually, we struck up a conversation that led to secret hookups behind closed doors. Being young, healing from childhood abuse, and looking for love, I didn’t care about myself or whether it was right or wrong. It was attention that I craved and got, even if I was being used, which I was. He never wanted to be in public, and wanted to keep things a secret because he didn’t want anyone to interfere in our relationship, or so he said. He didn’t want to get caught by his girlfriend, whom he claimed to love.”
" run into him dispirit me , and every time I saw him , I felt grosser and disgusting . Despite my endeavour to show I cared and need more , I make love he ’d never change his intentions with me . On Valentine ’s twenty-four hour period , he asked me out on a legit engagement , and I turned him down , which see red him . That night , I found some very interesting information , which I used to my reward . I found out he was cheating on his lady friend AND me with other people , and he was chisel on those girlfriend with other girls . That night , I also found out his girlfriend ’s name and where she lived . Later that workweek , at 6 a.m. , I called the lady friend , excuse to her for sleeping with him . She had no clue what I was talking about . I also rationalize to her for how disadvantageously he had treated her . She had no clue he was cheating with everyone . A twelvemonth later , I end up working with her , and they were still together , and he tried to hook up with me , which I turned him down by threatening to tell her about us .
Last I take heed , he was single and alone , about nine years ago . No fair sex in their right-hand thinker wanted anything to do with him . Marlon , wherever you are , I go for you ’ve acquire up . "
11.“I’ve been there, I’ve done it, and I’m ashamed. I could tell a story about my wife leaving me for someone else, or that her husband was a cheater. And that’s all true. But. No matter what we tell ourselves, we know it is wrong and lie to ourselves because we want or need it. It’s not okay. We knew that. Let’s not pretend to ourselves or anyone else otherwise.”
— Anonymous , 51 , UK
12.“I cheated with several women while I was in a long-term relationship. We weren’t married, and that’s how I rationalized my behavior. Some of my partners were married and others were not, but that’s no excuse. My S.O. thought we were exclusive, and I didn’t live up to my side of the bargain. More importantly, I didn’t live up to my standards and values. I was hurtful, selfish, and I put her health at risk. I was having unprotected sexual contact with others, and then I would come home to her. I put her life in jeopardy and lowered the quality of mine. She eventually broke it off, and I haven’t seen her since. A few years later, I got married. I have been faithful to my spouse for over two decades.”
— Anonymous , 62 , FL
13.“I wanted love, attention, feeling that I mattered to someone.”
14.“I was the other woman. I didn’t know for about a year that he was married at the time, 20ish years, and he and his wife had a son. He lied about having a daughter and lied about his job. During the time we dated, I had never met anyone in his circle, had never been to his house, or met his son. There were so many things I didn’t pay attention to. They ended up divorcing. His son wants nothing to do with him. He and I ended up getting married. Fast forward to a couple of years ago when I cheated on him. Fast forward to the present time, when we are separated and I am looking for a place of my own. I’m in therapy. I’ve got lots to unpack.”
— Anonymous , 47 , Canada
15.And lastly, “He lied to me, saying he was divorced. I found out the truth when we went back to his place after a night out and his wife was home. It turns out they had been separated but were trying to work things out (yeah, right, working things out but seeing another girl?). She was supposed to be out of town that night, but her trip was canceled last minute. The last I heard, she divorced the cheating jerk and took him to the cleaners in child support and alimony. Good for her!”
— ladysingstheblues
Responses have been edited for length / clarity .
So, have you ever been the “other person”? Tell us your motives for why you did it, and how it all turned out. Or, if you prefer to stay anonymous, you can submit a response using this form here.
